A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seriously in love with a girl for 2 years, shes like one of my best friends. I've also told her about my love, and she said we would be better off as friends, but that was a while ago. My problem is that she flirts with my best friend, and everyday she seems that she likes them more and me less. It hurts so much when she walks up says hi to them, flirts, and walks off often without a word to me. I feel that shes possibly doing this on purpose! Its horrible :'(. I think it can work, and so do so many of my other friends, i think she likes me as a friend but, thats not how i think im being treated. I want to not like her, but i cant, ive tryed. I find it so hard to talk about this to her.She comes over every weekend, so i thought i should ask her to come over to talk about it. But i think it needs to be a serious talk about actully being friends, to get across how much i care about her.What should i do? What can i say to her?Help cant do this anymore! it hurts so much
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help guys. i think i should just talk to her.but the thing is, if it goes completly wrong i cant just get over her, the only way i can see my self getting over her is if we were not friends, and i really dont want that.the thing with her flirting with my friends is really significant, its only happended in the last 2 weeks or so, and its the same 5 people she does it to, and there all my main friends, after an incodent she gives me looks as if to say "ha look at me" and not in any good way. I no shes definatly not like this, i never would of thought she could do such a thing. Whats going on. :S
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 A woman can size up a man quickly whether he can be just friends or a potential mate. If she has decided who can be friends or mate, then it is very hard for you to change her opinions. She has given you her answer and you need to treat her like a friend and no more.
You love someone whose heart has turned cold.What you say or do will not have any impact on her. Her eyes only have your best friend. Let her go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): Be honest with her. Tell her how you feel, if you guys are really friends, she'll listen. Girls love honesty. Really hope this helps. Much love, Bella
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): If you have told her about your love and she has responded by saying she wants to be friends - you need to respect that decision.
Her flirting is causing you problems only because you want different things out of the relationship than what she wants. Also, it is very unlikely that she's doing it 'on purpose'.
You need to have a serious talk in person with her to find out exactly what she wants with relation to you. Also, get clarity on what you mean to her. Then you need to assess what she says and you either accept or leave the relationship/friendship.
You state that you think it may work and even your friends think so also. But this is irrelevant unless she also thinks it can work . It only matters what she thinks and wants and how that aligns with what you want.
The short: If there is no chance for an intimate relationship, and you can't accept, then you must move on.
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