A
female
age
22-25,
*up!!
writes:I've asked a question here before and I got very good advice, which I used very well, thank you.I have another question and it concerns my friend. I don't really sit with her in lunch very much, and I only have one class with her which is civics. But anyhow she's very smart, for instance her reading score is 12th grade reading.She wants to read 50 shades of grey. She knows a lot about language arts(including writing, not only reading) she's very skilled in the clarinet. Now the other day she asked me if she should read 50 shades of grey since she wants to read it so badly. She likes to read ALL kinds of books, but she has never read a book like 50 shades of grey, and she wanted to read it so badly.Now I will admit I have read a steamy book before by mistake. Like I was thinking it was adventure, but no it was not. So from that day I have learned never to judge a book by its cover, but there was only like one sex scene. The thing is i wasn't really paying attention to the sex part because I was looking at something else and it took me in the middle of the scene to realized it.Anyhow so I don't know what to say to her. I am not sure if she should read it or not. I told her to ask her parents, but she doesn't want them to know that she wants to read a type of book like that. What can I say to her? So could she? or is it best not to read 50 shades of grey even though she might have the maturity to handle it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sup!! +, writes (19 September 2012):
sup!! is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I did told her not to read it, but she did anyhow and she said it sucked. She didn't finish it because she felt so grossed by it. I said it was about this control dude and this women who is bored with her life, and how they have sex. After that she just couldn't read the next page, because she felt so grossed out by the dude, and how disappointed she felt with it.
I think she was really looking forward to a romantic steamy adult book, but I don't know. I think it turned out for her to be the man is over powering the girl and the girl does whatever he says which I think she hates things like that.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 September 2012):
 if she doesn't want to ask her parents then I think she's not ready to read it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I agree FULLY with Anon reader - spot on!
First off, I have to say that the book "Fifty shades" is such a poorly written excuse of a book and I still can't grasp why it has hit such high numbers and popularity. It's BAD. I won't even call it literature. The characters are even worse. You have a SOUR and stupid girl (Anna) and a rich CREEP (Grey) who meets and basically Grey wants to "own her.. He stalks her, he controls her (and not in a good way) and Anna thinks it's LOVE... LAME and unrealistic.
If your friend is 13, I think she is still too young to really understand the complexity of what the "author" is trying to introduce which is something called bondage. THAT is not for kids. Not only that but the "author" totally misses the point of the concept which is even worse. It's like saying the French used the guillotine for shaving people...
Curiosity is normal, but I DO hope she find other books instead. Personally, if she wants to read something romantic, she ought to read Pride and Prejudice - NOW there is romance.
However, If she is really determined to read it, then give her this web link, it's a "recap" of the entire book. Just done with humor and VERY intelligent twist.
http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.com/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html?zx=27aca695871beba8
I have a 12 year old daughter (who reads at college level)
and if she asked me about it I would tell her not to waste her time with a piece of crap book like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2012): 15 years old in my opinion is when kids now a days start to take interest in sexual things. Erotica is similar to porn but from my experience a lot more intense, it triggers your imagination, porn you just see what you see. Would you rather have her being safe, without this erotica?I'm seen porn but I'm just about 19 and am still hanging on to my virginity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2012): I'm in my 30s now, but when I was your age, the smutty book du jour was "Flowers in the Attic" by V.C. Andrews. My friends and I passed around one copy of it several times. It had a well-developed plot, suspense and plenty of character development, but also rape and incest scenes. The main characters were the products of incest. By terrible circumstance, they managed to repeat history by falling in love with each other. I don't know if reading the book affected me, but it certainly didn't make me want to run out and have sex with my brother.That being said, I fear that 50 Shades of Grey is very different. It portrays a very unrealistic portrayal of romantic relationships. Adult women know that it's fantasy. That's why the book has been called "Mommy Porn." Mommies want an escape from their boring, daily lives, so they're happy to overlook the nonsense. They have enough life experience to take it all with a grain of salt. A young woman, with little life experience might not be able to differentiate between the realities of dating and the fantasy described in this book.The main character falls in love with a man who tells her he doesn't want a girlfriend and wants to use her for sex, specifically for sadomasochistic sex, not that it matters. In real life, I can assure you that if a man says that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, he means it. Having sex with him will not make him change his mind. (Also, most people don't want to engage in sadomasochism, it's on the fringes of sexuality.)In the book, the main character's love interest stalks and controls her. In real life if a man stalks you or tries to control you, he is dangerous and abusive, not loving. Mommies know this, a young and inexperienced girl may not. She may internalize this book to her own detriment.I'm glad I read this book as an adult, not as a teenager. To be honest, it was so badly written I'd have preferred not to have read it at all. If your friend enjoys literature, this is not the book for her. Perhaps you can suggest other explicit, but more literary books, instead. She could read "Lady Chatterley's Lover" or "Lolita" or "Tropic of Cancer." She could read "Amber," which is much less literary, but at least it's historic.That being said, while it's incredibly sweet of you to be concerned about your friend, you can't control what she does or does not read. All you can do is not read the book yourself. I hope that helps.
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