A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years now, we don't live together and we are like two peas in a pod. We are greatly in love and have everything in common. Now the problem...Recently I was forced to go on a business trip in which I will not be able to see my partner for at least half a year, we trust one another 100% so that is not an issue (before anyone jumps on the 'cheating' bandwagon) but we are both extrememly passionate and sexually active with one another.Whilst away in a foreign country, I asked my girlfriend to take a few sexy pictures for me, especially of her breasts (I love her breasts a great deal, they are a perfect size and shape), but naturally being the 21st century the whole 'ladies-first' ettiquette has been thrown out the window. So I sent some pictures to my girlfriend first, but now she refuses to send pictures of herself to me.I won't be back in my country for another 3 months and I really need these pictures for a 'release'. We are not shallow, for we both understand one another's sexual desires (before anyone jumps on the 'dump him/her' 'you-dont-respect-her' bandwagon) this is not an issue about respect or confusion, therefore I need help in possible things I can say.I really do miss her and in this recent sexually frustrating phase; her body.What can I say to make her feel comfortable enough to send me some pictures?
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (15 October 2008):
it's because guys usually show their friends these pics or they end up in the wrong hand. just take no as no. or like i said before take pictures of u and her together at some point, that way it's not such a pressure on her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): Hey, why pressure her so much over this issue specially when the two of you are so close? I have a b/f of 6 years. He has taken nude photos of me and they are with him. I trust that they are safe with him. But if he asks me to 'send' some to him when he is away, I will not feel comfortable about it at all. Its hard to explain why...may be deep down i feel it will go to the wrong hands. I will not feel safe enough. I think you should patiently wait these 3 months. And next time when you go away, please click some photos of her (with her consent ofcourse) and take them along with you. So that you will not bother her so much! ;) Have fun!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel this "advice" is now suffering a little from stereotyping. I hope i'm not painting a picture of myself as a perverse, little old man with a set-mind on manipulation and leverage for future "vengence" schemes.
We are just two active lovers who experiment alot. Inhibitions and "comfort zones" are highly irrelevant, (especially for her..) but """"reassurance"""" is what I need to give her, this is the advice I ask from the Agony Aunts and Uncles.
(But please stay clear from the contemporary issues that arise from this topic, I promise those who feel obliged to go over the 'obvious' problems, stresses and worries normally associated with this topic; they are not the issue).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): ... or she could put a brown paper bag with a couple of eye holes over her head.
Leave that decision up to her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm I'm afraid aunty_rach and SugarCookie's advice are rather one sided views. eyeswideopen and Uncle_Phil have given me constructive advice, my thanks.I should further mention that I sent my pictures over the internet (i'm a software engineer, I know how to do it securely) and she oringinally wanted to send pictures of her breasts and 'not' her head. I was fine with that. I'm not satisfied with my imagination in this case
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): I've got a Polaroid camera for this exact purpose. No negatives, no internet hiccups and no taking them to be developed. If the pictures are destroyed, that's the end of it, they are no more. Maybe you should send her a Polaroid camera plus a couple of packs of film and ask her to stand in front of a large mirror to take the pictures. Someone I know does this, but uses a mobile phone. Polaroids are a lot safer though.
Whatever you do, don't ask her to cut off her head - she'll think you're only interested in her boobs!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 If you mean sending the pictures via the internet then she is being very wise. She probably is afraid of them falling into the wrong hands. I'm with her on this one. Do what Sugarcookie said, use your imagination for your "release".
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (14 October 2008):
If she doesn't feel comfortable she wont just change her mind. Why not just close your eyes and think about her body. A lot of girls aren't comfortable enough to send naked pictures to anyone.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (14 October 2008):
ok Mr, for a start if she is not comfortable sending pics of herself to you then do not force/ pester her to do so. best thing for you may be a dirty boys mag. maybe next time you are with her you should take pictures of both of u together, laying next to eachother. maybe she will feel more comfortable then.
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