A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm at a loss as to what to do. Over the past few months I have got more and more close to a friend of mine, so close that we were in the foundation stage of a relationship. We were so intimate with each other, it was not far before we were to be properly together.I kept putting off asking her out for it to be official. I know that she has trust issues and I knew that she had been messed around in previous relationships, made to feel worthless. She'd always been scared to tell me how she felt, but she assured me that she had strong feelings for me and I shared these feelings for her.She was apprehensive to be committed to someone again and I understood this so I was taking my time, until she was ready. It was not until recently that I told her how I felt about her and she eventually opened up to me, in a flood of tears.Another person that she used to be close with was still on her mind. She explained how she used to be infatuated with this guy a few years ago. He took over her life, to the extent that he was the only person she spoke to and trusted. At a point between their relationship he 'got bored' with her and told her that she meant nothing to him. It was at this point that she cut him out of her life and tried to forget about him. This is the root of her trust and commitment issues, I knew this from when we first started to get close.The thing that has changed how her and I are now is that she cannot get over this person! She said that no one compares to him and that she felt that she had been so hot and cold with me and mucked me about, that I deserved better than her. I don't think so though, she is so special to me and well, I love her.It is so very hard to explain but I know how she feels and I can understand why she feels the way she does. However, I have been in the same situation she has before. I just wish that I could help her to move on and be with me. It is ultimately her worries to committing to someone else, at least I think it is. I don't want her to cut me out of her life because of this.I would like some advice as to what I can say to her before it is too late. She assured me that what we had together was not a lie and that all she felt towards me was true feelings. I love her and I don't want to lose her, I want to try my hardest to tell her how I feel and that I am here for her, I want to help her get over her past.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): i think you answered this question for your self. you need to tell her how you feel. you cant jsut say you have strong feelings for her. you need to tell her you want to help her and that you love her. i think that you already know the answer to your question. you jsut have to tell her.
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