A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my boyfriend, I feel that he is going too fast for me I am constantly stressed out. I want a relationship with him but my mum and dad won't let me, they don't want me to see him but I do, I want to be there for him. He has a lot of emotional problems but I can get through it, I am really stressed and sad, what am I going to do? My nana has alzheimers and she is in a home she is not settling and I don't want her to die on me, I don't. I feel horrible and I cry every night can you help me love victoria bowman Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Tell your b/f to slow down or build more speed bumps to slow him down.
You cannot change your parents opinion for now. You can only give them more time to get to know him.
Take each day and live for each day.
Sorry for your nana. Give her your love and hope for the best.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (16 February 2008):
 Couple of issues here I think. If you feel your boyfriend is going way too fast, he is. Why don't your mum and dad want you to date him? Are they concerned about his emotional problems? Anyway, you are old enough to listen to what they have to say, consider it but to do what you think is best for you. Both of these issues could be causing you stress.
Your nana is dying and you should spend some time with her. If your relationship with your boyfriend is preventing this, it is a problem. The fact that you are crying every night is concerning. You given several issues, any one of which could be causing you stress. I think you need to take a time out and put some priority in your life. If you are still stressed out, maybe some professional help would be beneficial.
Take care and I wish your nana well.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (16 February 2008):
 i'm very sorry to hear about your nana. My grandad has Alzheimers too and it's really hard to cope with when a loved one has it. I wish i could offer you some support, but there's nothing i can really say. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and that's what hurts most of all. You just have to be strong, getting upset (though i know it's easy to do and damn near impossible to avoid) can only make things harder.
As for your boyfriend 'going too fast' for you. In what respect? emotionally? physically?
Tell him he's moving too fast either way. Explain to him that you do care for him, but there's so much going on in your life, you just need to take things slower and that you want to be there for him. If he's genuine, he will understand - but make sure you get your point across clearly and calmly, ensure wires don't get crossed or things could go badly. It's best to talk in a quiet, comfortable atmosphere about such things. and if he feels the same for you, he will want to support you too.
If your age is as stated (22-25 years old) then you're definitely an adult. It's your choice of who you want to be in a relationship with. Make your own decisions, your parents will love you anyway.
It's also important to understand your parents are just concerned for your well being and are trying to do what's best for you, but they can not run your life for you. Talk to them about how you feel, show them you're mature enough to make your own decisions.
You're letting things overwhelm you by not addressing any of the stresses in your life. a lot of people let things bottle up until they get to the point of break downs. You'll find that once you start sorting things out, doing progressive things in life to get things on the track you want them, you'll feel less stressed out about the littler things and then this will help you deal with the bigge things a little better.
I apologise for my long response but I hope i helped. Good luck with everything. Best wishes,
MK x
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A
female
reader, rootsreggaerocknroll +, writes (16 February 2008):
oh dear hon, you seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment! have you thought of getting counselling to try and sort your head out?
If your bf is making you stressed tell him you need him to cool off a bit, and if he loves you he should understand. let him know you'll still love and support him, but you need support too!
Working through your problems together might be a good way of bonding and helping each other.
this might help you with coming to terms with your nana's illness: http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?categoryID=200135&documentID=84
good luck!
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