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male
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*oepie
writes: I have been dating this women for 3 years and grown up with her all my life! Things were great for the first year and a half. Then I cheated on here and disrespected her on and off for about a year while she hung on to me. I was trying to work on it but had other things blocking me. Well she broke it off with me. We decided to take 2 weeks to settle down and get our act together before moving on with a friendship. She told me that she knows we are supposed to be together just not right now because I need to get my act together. So she wants to see other people. I just don't know what to do. I need to win her back! She's the best thing that's ever happened to me! Can you please help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jackied +, writes (19 July 2005):
This is very strange as I am going through a very similar problem at the moment. Your partner must really love you to have put up with all the grief you have given her. I think someone else said this aswell but you just need to prove to her that she means everything to you. She must have been getting mixed signals for awhile and probably felt really insecure about your relationship. Are you sure that her telling you about wanting to see other people was not just to get a reaction from you, find out how you really feel about her. I really hope you work things out. Good luck!
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male
reader, joepie +, writes (18 July 2005):
Yes I know I was very selfish I have taken the time we are taking apaprt from eachother and I have given my life to the Lord. I know I want her back!! She was my world. We grewe up together for the last 13 years. She wants to take a break a see what else is out there but still be friends. she says she loves me but this is whats best for the next couple weeks. Patience is a virtue that I dont have much of! I just want to hear her voice! this is so hard for me to go through but I put her through the same thing. I wish someone could just tell me if we are ever gonna be together again!
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reader, becky05 +, writes (17 July 2005):
If you were my boyfriend, I wouldnt take you back you sound like a very selfish man and I think your girlfriend has become wise to this.
Why should she take you back after you have treated her so badly for so long?
I think you should allow her to move on with her life.
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reader, pops +, writes (17 July 2005):
Ask her what you have to do to get her back! Isn't her answer to that question more important than anyone else's? After she tells you what she wants of you, take the time to think about it, talk about her demands with a confident of yours, or to a marriage counselor, and then decide what, if any of her demands you can meet, without selling your self image. Her response will inform you what she thinks is important in a relationship. You should also consider what is important in a relationship, and have your own proposal to make to her when you respond to her demands. After all, you did not disrespect her and cheat on her on a whim. Something was wrong in the relationship for you. You haven't told us what it was. Maybe you don't know. So, think about that, and tell her what you find out. It is important to any relationship that each of the parties be honest to a fault with each other. People can forgive their mate's flaws to a point, but they have to be told what they are so they can sort out those they can overlook, and those they must insist that you conquer. pops
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female
reader, Casey +, writes (16 July 2005):
First of all you need to be absolutely sure that you want her back and are not just being influenced by the fact you cannot have he right now, as doing this all over again will be all too painful for her. She needs to see for herself how much you care for her she will have some bitterness and resentment after all the bad treatment even if she does not say it,you need to counteract this with some sort of major gesture that will be meaningful for her, you need to inject a bit of romance into it and take her back to when things were good she obviously stayed with you for so long because you guys had something special at the start, then ended up having to call it a day when the bad treatment took over from all the good points to the relationship, and she couldn't cope with the hurt anymore.
make her trust you again by not pushing too much keeping your word and being consistant let her know that you really are capable of change and most importantly of all let her know you think she's the most beautiful and important woman in the world to you. She'll start to think its worth giving it a second chance with you.be patient she may try and push you away just to see if you care enough to not give up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2005): I know how you feel. My boyfriend finished me after 2 and a half years and I want him back desperatly but he doesn't want to know. I love him more than anything so I know how you feel.I don't think being friends will help as it will just remind you of what you've lost and what you can't have. You need to give her space and "get your act together" whichever way she means. Try keeping busy so you don't ring her, perhaps if you let her date other people then she will appreciate what she had with you.
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