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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am intensely jealous of my older cousin. He is very tall about 6'2 and is called handsome by so many girls who meet him. He has hooked up with many girls. I am only 5'8 and i am not anything special. We both have steady futures so I cant use that to boost myself either. I am beginning to despise the time I spend with him.Tonight we went to a party together and tens of girls went up to him and introduced themselves and he got all their numbers. I got zero attention. I have only been with one girl and shes an ex, because she went far for college. She was the first girl to ever vest any interest in me. I was rejected in high school a lot for having parents from a different country. My ex was from my own ethnicity so it was slightly easier, even though I hated the fact she had more experience than me. She is the only one I have ever kissed. I was never secure because she kept getting hit on by guys. She admitted to thinking my cousin as hot.We broke up after 2 years, and she told me I was sweet, hot etc. but who could believe her? I am still a virgin, sad I know.What can I do to turn things around? I tried working out and still do, but my cousin does that too. My confidence levels are non existant now.
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broke up, confidence, cousin, jealous, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try to avoid him now but he wants to hang out often. I have my own friends but they tease me about how inexperienced I am. I usually help them look good to girls by talking them up to girls, but they dont do that for me. I am desperate to venture and get experience before I end up with someone much more well traveled than I am. I would be bitter and never happy with that as seen by how I was with my ex. The whole relationship I felt powerless and felt she didnt take me seriously. My other friends are also great with women and so easily talk about their hookups. My friends and cousin do tell me to act like a jerk, but I am not a good actor anyway.( I could only fake confidence among my cousin and friends). It seems like the only way girls will notice me as seconds of my friends or when I get rich. Should I wait that long?
A
female
reader, Mysterium  +, writes (2 November 2012):
hey
i totally agree with CindyCares!
you should make some morefriends you know. who you wouldnt bother you so much. And go out have a good time with them. You would actually have a good time and trust me, when you're not looking, things begin to look up.
Please dont always hang in the shadow of your cousin.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 November 2012):
 I guess I should give you a nice pep talk about gaining self confidence and cultivating self esteem and beauty is only skeen deep etc.etc, but I'll skip it in favour of a more practical advice .
why do you have to always go around with the hunk cousin ? cut the apron strings and go out alone or with other friends who would not so dramatically outshine you at first impression.
If I were Sharon Stone's friend ( just to make an example in my age range ) and going to parties with her, I have no doubt that she would attract more looks and be hit on more than I. Being, luckily ,a rather self confident person, I doubt that this would bother me much.
But if I had a self esteem and self image problem, I would try to make things easier for me, not more difficult, WHILE I am working on my issues...
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