What can I do to recive more attention then what he is offering?

A female age , *onely Wife writes:

Iam a 44 year old attractive woman. I am in my secound marriage, and the marriage is going to be 5 years. I dated my present husband for a year before we married. He is also 11 years older then I. Over the past 5 years I have seen a decress in our sex life as well as he giving me little to almost none of affection. I can not stress how lonley I have become lately. This year has been the worst for me. I have ask my husband over and over what is I have done? What can I do to recive more attention then what he is offering? I have ask him if he was seeing anouther woman he was affended by my comment but answered no. I have also listed for him on paper my needs as well. I have ask for him to attend marriage counseling and he responds that all marriage counsling is a pissing contest. He claimed that he would go to the Dr. to ask about Viagra. This was over a year ago. When we do have sex it lastes for about 90 secounds and its over. He only offers me sex every few weeks sometimes its longer. I have said if he is not intrested in haveing sex with me fine thier are other ways he can still satisfy me, but he never makes any type of attempt or effort. When I am naked, or takeing a bath or getting undress he will not even look at me. Now I feel ugly, undesiarable and I cover myself, I don't even wear sexy clothing to bed any more. I felt that maybe he was stressed over worked from his job,or was just tierd. I also have given to the factor of his age. Because of that, I have assumed all responsibilities at home, even though I too work a full 8 hr job. My husband does not lift a finger at home. I do all the cooking, cleaning,shopping, makeing lunchs for him as well as myself on a work week. I also take care of my teenage son and four dogs. My husband has very little interaction with my son. I realize in diffrent conversations that my husband prefers it this way. He gives the dogs attention though. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed, exhusted that I sit and cry. When this happends he will ignore me or walk away from me. Once in awhile he will put a arm around me or a hand on my knee. But that is all. I am my husbands 3rd wife. Now I know why. I feel that I have done everything I can, to recieve attention, communication or just anything. I feel he puts little to non of effort into me/or our marriage. That all he wants is a mommie to take care of him and his needs. I do want a divorce. But haveing a teenager and finacial reasons I stay. Even though I feel my husband does not love me, even though he says he does I do love my husband, we have fun together, we do go on trips ect.. There is no fighting between us because of no or little communication. How can I be happy? How can I find happiness in my life while I am with my husband till It is time to leave him? Is there any comments or support groups anything to help me through this. Anything would be appriciated.

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A female reader, inneedofattention  +, writes (5 June 2008):

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