A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do you know its over and move on? We have been married 20 yrs 2 teenage children. And I am alone...For 20 yrs there is a constant accusation of there being someone else which there never was. He is the type to show affection and I have tried to tell him I need more only to be told this is who he is and always has been. We run a business together and if I want to go someplace for 1 hr its a problem for him to answer the phone. I have had to cancel appointments because he didn't want to answer the phone while i was gone. He doesnt come rigth out and say I cant go but you can tell when you ask its going to be a problem. I have always been where he can reach me. I took tota care of a disabled family memeber for 10 years plus the kids now the business which was his. I helped a friend for 1 1/2 hr today which I thought I would be gone only 1 hr and I come back to comments. There has been tooo many comments and accusations I dont feel anything any more good or bad.I just dont know what to do anymore..how do you know when it is over how to you hurt someone who relize on you so much and leave?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the replies..I know in my heart and soul what needs to be done it is just getting there. No there is no love there hasn't been for a long time. He is a good guy just has never had an emotional connection. It is always hard to hurt someone yet I know it eventually has to be done. I have found writing to myself and him in a journal has helped me realease the anger I was holding over the failed relationship thus bringing me to the point where I really have not feelings or anger or love anymore. I guess its just finding the strength within myself to know it will all be ok for everyone involved...MsGriff...I have talked to him multiple times over the years to be told he works hard and is who he is and can not change this is who I married. How do I respond to that.Smiles...I find happiness and calm when he is not around. When he is away there is no tightness in my chest I am relaxed. I think this speaks volumes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Vow, you seem to be in a difficult situation. You have given so much of yourself to everybody around you,it must have been very tiring at times. I do believe you should be kind to yourself for a change; what do you want for the rest of your life? Write it down, it helps, how do you visualize your future? What will make you happy? Do you still love your husband? Only then will you be able to start getting the answers! Get some good rest, maybe even a vacation or just take sometime each day....sit in the garden or somewhere you can have total peace even in the bath, and think about you....."When you are happy, you can make those around you happy", but do some soul searching and discover what will make you happy! Good luck and best wishes in finding yourself and HAPPINESS!
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A
female
reader, MissGriff  +, writes (5 June 2008):
This is a really tricky problem which is indevidual to each couple. I think that you should talk to him and decide what to do together. Telling him may be hard but being misreble is just not worth it. People can be much more receptive to these things than you may origenaly think
good luck
x
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