A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm asking about a girl I've known for a little over a year now. I "unofficially" friend-zoned her over the course of knowing her -- never spelled it out, but the signals were there. Recently she confronted me about it, and wants to be an item. I don't have romantic feelings for her but I'd feel like a jerk giving the "let's be friends" line, so I decided to give her a chance.We haven't been on a date in our more-than-friends skin yet, but I'm worried I'll never feel about her that way and that this will ruin our friendship (that I honestly enjoy), yet I couldn't say no to her.Was this a bad idea? What should I possibly expect? I'm used to starting relationships where I'm just all over the girl, but not so here. I MIGHT grow attracted to her, but if I don't, what can I do to keep her from getting hurt? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): This is tricky, I am a girl in your friends position wanting to be with my best guy friend but we've been friends so long. Don't instantly decide that it will be nothing more than friends and then agree to give her a chance if it's not really what you want. It will hurt her more to think that you guys might be together, she'll get her hopes up and get more attached. So if you honestly do not have any sort of feelings beyond friendship for her then don't go through with this. It sounds like you might be curious about it though, and people have said that the right person is often right under your nose so maybe she sees something that you don't about your friendship? When you're trying to go from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend it's best if you go slower than regular relationships because you're starting off in a weird place where you already know each other. Listen to your heart and be honest with yourself and with her. Maybe set ground rules if you decide to follow through with this and tell her you'll give it a shot but nothing physical for a while, that would make your friendship really awkward after if this thing doesn't work out.Goodluck
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