A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've got this problem. I just got out of a very abusive six year relationship a few months ago, and there's all this court stuff to deal with. I came to terms with it, and was doing fine. Feeling much better, even relieved because the burden was lifted off my shoulders.Then, I met this guy. He has many good qualities. I was hesitant at first because of what's happened in the past but I fell for him REALLY hard at some point. He took me out when he knew I was down, we had a lot of laughs together, he treated me like a real lady. Things were looking up. Then he broke it off because he's moving. I only knew him for two weeks, tops, so he said that's much too early to try to maintain a long distance thing.I have completely crashed all over again. I barely, eat, I can't sleep, I won't go out and constantly cancel plans with people, I try not to contact him but I have texted him several times. I Google his name. I watch his dance competition videos that he sent me over, and over, and over again, I'd say 15-20 times in a row. I can't do anything because I haven't know him for very long, so it's not my place to try to follow him or beg or plead. I feel like I don't want to do anything. I just lay on the couch all day waiting for his call, but he's getting all ready to go so I don't want to be too much of a bother. I don't want to meet anyone, ever again. I just want to be with him, somehow, some way. This is ridiculous. I feel like I'm being dramatic, but I feel like he's the One. I'm barely functioning, let alone dealing with all of my personal problems (financial, employment, etc.) My question is what can I do to get over this? It's not getting better. Am I completely nuts?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 October 2009):
No, you're not nuts. What has happened here is that for a long time, you were at the hands of a rubbish man, and when you got away, you naturally looked for affection. You found it, and thought that he was your escape. You now know he wasn't. So, you need to give yourself a lot of time to really focus on yourself and your own life. It's not ridiculous at all. But you must get over your hurt and really focus on becoming a confident, independent woman. When you're ready, when you're heart has healed, you will meet a guy who will care for you as much as you'll carefor him. Good luck.
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