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What can I do to get our relationship back the way it was?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ezz writes:

i have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a week ago his mates told me he has cheated on me but we talked and we said we would give it another go. He apologised and i knew he meant it because he was crying and he told me he has not cried since his grandad died. What can i do to get our relationship back to the way it was?

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A female reader, Skeez United Kingdom +, writes (2 September 2007):

Skeez agony auntIve had the same problem. my boyfriend cheated on me with a lot of guys (not girls) and kissed them all on new years.

Its been 8 months since that happened and no..things just arnt the same with us like it was beforS and still dont trust him fully yet. Its hard to realise and we all wish everything would go back to normal, but it hasnt. It may well do for you and if it does then you are in a great relationship. If you trust your guy to not go out and cheat on you again then good for you. But talk more with ur partner about how you feel. Like penta said. You have to go forward not backwards.

Communication will deffinetly help between you to.

goodluck.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

kenny agony auntRelationships are all about trust. If you take trust out of a relationship its like building a house without digging the foundations, it will eventually fall down.

If in your heart of hearts you think he is sorry and won't do it again then give him another shot. But not saying it will (touch wood) if he ever slips up again don't ever think about taking him back again.

Take care x

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A female reader, tracyann United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

once a cheater always a cheater , trust me i know

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

A relationship can only survive on trust! if you think you will be able to trust him again and forgive him for what he has done then the relationship has a chance of working! however, you would need to forgive and forget for this to happen! but your age says you are 13-15, how old is your boyfriend?? at such a young age girls mature faster than guys and you are more likely to be dedicated to this relationship than he is! guys at this age are having hormones that tell them to go and have lots of sex (sad but true!)and a guy is likely to not want to be restricted in a relationship at a young age! you may have been lucky to find one that is but just remember that once a cheater, always a cheater! everybody makes mistakes and he may be genuinely sorry but that is no excuse for cheating on you in the first place!

good luck with it hun!

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

Sweet-thing agony auntIt'll never be quite the same, but it can be close if you're willing to accept that he screwed up big time and is truly sorry. Just take things one day at a time. Try not to bring it up if at all possible. When you have an argument, don't throw it back in his face over and over again. On the other hand, you will probably want to keep your eyes open for awhile to make sure the behavior doesn't repeat itself. You're both very young. It's hard for anyone to be faithful at this age. Don't take things too seriously and you'll be fine. There will be plenty of years ahead of you in which you will find true love, and committment and have a future with someone. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

He has not cried since his Grandad died? Why did he mention that - it seems like a tactic to get your pity. You are too young to be serious with somebody and accept this type of betrayal. Only adults should do that. Get out, have some fun and don't let people undermine your self-worth. You should not be feeling this level of hurt yet, you should have loads of friends and remember that this boyfirend is not marriage material as you will both move on. You are not married and you don't have to forgive him as though he were your husband. It should not be serious.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (30 August 2007):

penta agony auntYou can't, and you shouldn't try, to go back to what it was. It's different now. That doesn't mean that it can't be good, but you need to go forward, not back. He needs to work to get your trust back. Good luck hon.

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