A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while ago my life was going great, people trusted me. Now my life has fallen apart, iv lost 4 mates! Close ones. The first 2 i lost because a girl made up some stuff i said about them, which i didnt say! Then one of them was alright with me, but we wernt as close as we used to be, before all this. He now ignores me for no reason when we wer ment to be alright with eachother. The other 2 well.. i have this friend and she told me stuff my mate apparently said behind my back, so i believed her and told her stuff the girl said behind her back and i trusted her and she told me everything will be okay when the girl is out of our life and she promised she wouldnt make up with her, so i trusted her. Now the girl who i trusted is basically my only mate now, but she went behind my back and made up with the girl and is being different with me, another friend fell out with me because of this! Thats 4 people iv lost. I feel like i have no one but my boyfriend, everyone needs a good friend beside them! What can i do to get my mates back without looking weak and without looking like im only doing it because iv got no one else? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks this has helped quite abit :)
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 I'm sorry you are going through this rough time. I had some similar experiences when I was young. I'm in my 30's now, and those problems (which seemed monumental when they occurred) seem like a lifetime ago! In ten years... you will roll your eyes and say, "I can't believe I was so stressed over that!" So have comfort in knowing this is just a learning experience.
The first two friends that you had a falling out with... that's a tough one. There's nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done or said. It's pretty much your word against hers. Unless you can prove that this girl is lying... you have to hope your friends will figure out who can be trusted and who is the liar. This must be frustrating for you... but all you really can do is be nice and continue to be vigilant about your innocence. Ultimately, it may be best to drop it and move on.
This other friend of yours who went behind your back... she is not a true friend. She enjoys pitting one friend against another. If you decide to stay friends with her... you should never say anything negative about others while in her presence. Obviously, the girl who said mean things about you behind your back was wrong to do so. However, two wrongs don't make a right... and you are just as guilty as she is now. If you want to repair this friendship, you need to swallow your pride, and apologize. You need to be genuine in your deliverance and make certain she knows you are truly sorry. Let her know that you were hurt by the things she said about you, as well. As for the fourth friend... she just took sides. If you make up with your other friend, the fourth girl will likely follow suit.
Just be nice, don't get an attitude, let them know you regret what happened and you miss their friendship! Please let us know what happens. Good luck!
...............................
|
