A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My wife and I been married for 3 years now. We had our ups and downs too. we have 1 kid together that is 3 years old, a stepson with her that is 6 years. We been separated for 4 months now and she wont return my messages or anything of the matter. Shes in a realationship with a guy that she dated in the past but never worked out. If i text her and tell her how i feel about her and the kids. I also been telling her that i want to change and sorry, she gets mad and say something about them too. I've tried everything but i havent gave her the space that she needs. She has her heart in getting a divorce but havent done it yet. I love her and i dont want a divorce. What can i do to get my marriage back? or Is it over and move on?
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male
reader, Mr. Smith +, writes (14 October 2010):
Before you ask for advice... put all the situation clear, what did you do that made your wife act like she does at this moment, please clarify in order for anyone to give you adewuate advice.
PS; if your wife is with someone after only 4 months of separating, there is a big chance she might have been with that person way before it was "official", thus cheating comes to mind.
If you get a divorce than you should consider under the circunstance of adultry. This way you get to keep your children and her half of everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): Seeing as she is already with another guy and is not considering reconciling, I have to assume something dramatic happened here. People don't go to polar extremes without some reason. I disagree with Sexless though...not sure why guys are always pinned as the instigators. After all, SHE is the one with another partner.
Whether she needed space (which it seems was to be with another guy), or you did something wrong (hence your "I will change" comment), it seems she is very strongly opposed to reconciling. I would suggest counseling. If she will not agree, and you cannot convince her of your love, you need to move forward with a divorce. The divorce proceedings and the time necessary for it to happen may give things time to level out and the dust to settle. By agreeing to a divorce, you may show her you are willing to give her what she wants, and may ironically result in reconciling if her heart is in it. But I wouldn't count on it.
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