A
female
age
30-35,
*lovemyoreo2010
writes:OK so ive been dating this guy, not just any guy, my babys father, for a yrs and some days now, idk why but since a few weeks before i had the baby he has been acting so differant! like we used to hold each other and i mean just hold each other,we dont anymore. well im at my moms for personal reasons and he knows why. ive been here for a few days and we just talked together today since ive been here. and he was sayin that he couldnt hear me on the phone so i suggested yahoo and he said "well imma just go home then" like he didnt care at all that i missed him and wanted to talk to him, HELL he didnt even act like he missed me at all! JESUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND ITS KILLIN ME! i want to tell him how i feel but im affraid it will just turn into an argument, it does everytime i try to tell him how i feel! what am i doing wrong? what do i have to do to get him to show me more affection! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ilovemyoreo2010 +, writes (16 May 2010):
Ilovemyoreo2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question this guy is 32. he is older than me by 12 yrs! hes good with the baby btw!! a great father!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 May 2010):
 How old is this guy? It sounds like you are working very hard to get his attention, for heaven's sake, you got pregnant by him and it didn't solve anything, right?
So my guess is that he is young and immature and not really ready to be a father just yet. It doesn't mean he won't be a wonderful father, I hope he'll come around, it's just that things have changed so much for him--not to mention YOU! Your life is about to be turned upside down and all your priorities are about to be rearranged. Or have I read that wrong? Is the baby already here? And that's why you had to move home? You need help and support from your parents?
My guess is that you aren't doing anything really wrong. My guess is that he's just not ready to be a part of a permanent couple, despite the baby.
You could try to engage him with the baby by asking him over and making it sound like the most fun in the entire world is taking care of your wonderful and stunning baby. The baby who has his eyes and his hair and his wonderful sense of humor. Create an aura of wonder and fun and excitement about this baby and you, not a great needy mass of emotions and nerves.
I wish he could grow up overnight and realize what a gift you two have together, a marvelous baby, but my guess is that it will take him some time. Your strategy should be to try to make being with you and the baby irresistable.
I'm so sorry, you should be being nurtured and tended and cared for and loved by the father of your baby, that's how it's supposed to be, isn't it? The wonder and joy of sharing a new life, and instead you're stuck at home, angry at him for being so absent, so distant, so awful at the moment in life you need him most. It TOTALLY sucks.
But you are a mother now, and you're going to have to be strong for the baby. Look deep into your baby's eyes and you'll know that is who deserves most of your attention right now. The baby's needs are simple but profound. Skimping on those now may lead to a lot of problems later.
I know this is meager advice, but it's all I've got. I hope you get some answers from mothers who know what they are talking about.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 When you tell him you need more affection, he interprets that as he's not doing enough, not good enough and that hurts his feelings. Be grateful when he does things for you. Show him that you are still turned on by him and excited by his presence. Find a balance between giving him space and letting him know that he's needed and wanted.
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