A
male
age
30-35,
*kir
writes:My ex and I found out that we were pregnant a month ago, things have been pretty rough lately, maybe due to me, and last weekend she split up with me, now she had decided on abortion, but today she called me saying that she is now keeping the baby but doesn't want to get back with me ever, I love her more than anything and I just want us to be happy and the baby, I want our baby to have a family together not seperated. I guess I could do with some advice and help because I'm starting to get really down over everything.
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abortion, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 Oh man that sucks. Big hugs to you!
A
male
reader, Akir +, writes (16 May 2010):
Akir is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice but I just found out shes been doing stuff behind my back when we were together. So I cant see as I want anything to do with her now, I will still care for the baby, i will love her/him more than anything, i would gladly throw my life away for them. But she's lost everything.
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A
male
reader, Akir +, writes (15 May 2010):
Akir is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice, I'm just going to do as much as I can for her and the baby especially when it's born.
The help has been deeply appreciated thank you all.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 What you see is not what you get. Don't take to heart what she told you .
Women are fickle minded creatures and she can change her stand any time .It depends on how you treat her.
You need to go woo her and give her all your love and kindness.Be supportive and help her .It would be advantages for her to have you than to be alone.
Whatever she throws at you , do not run away but keep going forward . You will be able to win her back again.
Check yourself and see what you did wrong and do not repeat those mistakes again.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 May 2010):
You can't just beg her to be your girlfriend. That is not going to attract her is it?
You know what she likes, and you know what you did to make her fall for you the first time.
You also probably know what you did wrong to make her fall out of love with you.
So call her and say you respect her and will work hard to be the best dad you can possibly be and then ask if you can take her out for dinner to catch up on when all the scan dates are going to be etc. You two are going to need to talk about it all anyway.
Take her out, be a gentleman, open doors, tell her she looks beautiful. DO NOT tell her you want to get back / still love her. Just be amazing, drop her home and give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek at the door.
You need to impress this girl, romance her, prove to her that you've changed all the things that needed to change.
If you really love her, then work hard. It's not ever about buying a huge ring or doing something stupid. It's about proving that you can make her happy long term and are not going to let her down.
Setting up a savings account for the baby and putting £10 a month into it (So at 18 he/she can go to uni / buy a car etc) is going to impress her a lot more than just begging and making promises to change.
If you put pressure on her she'll run away from you. If you can get her to fall in love with you again then you could still have that family you dream of.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (15 May 2010):
You have to tread carefully here. Tell her you are sorry and that you want to be with her and the baby and that you will be waiting for her when she is ready. Then back off. Learn everything you can about pregnancy, birth and parenting to show her you are committed. Offer to be avaliable to take her to prenatal appointments and stick to it. Hopefully once she realises that you are serious she will come round.
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