A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need a bit of help. My girlfriend broke up with me a few days back because we had been a bit iffy and hand't seen each other for a while, I got drunk and upset her, saying if shes not going to be in my life then she should leave now instead of later when it will hurt me more, it's the kinda thing I've said to her before, being dramatic and needy and we've fallen out but made up.This time she really wants to end it, she's told all her friends that she won't get back with me and she's told me there is no chance we'll get back together because I've hurt her too much. I simply can't let go of this girl but, she means the absolute world to me and I knew I loved her the moment I met her, she's just my absolute equal and I need her back, I don't just want her back, I need her back. During the break up conversation, she said things like I still love you but we can't be together because I don't want to be hurt again. I've thought long and hard about my flaws during our relationship and I know I've done a lot of things wrong, and I'm making a serious effort to change that, I'm doing a lot to change the way I am with girls in general(needy, clingy, jealous, over protective, etc.) and I know it's not going to happen over night but I will definitely change the way I am because that is what killed our relationship but I don't want to look on it as a learning experience, I just want her back.She is my definite soulmate, before we went out, she chased me for months and I put it off because I didn't think she was my type, after going with her, I realise that she's the only girl I will ever feel this way about, we spoke about marriage, kids, etc. We talked about it all and we talked about it seriously so we had something really special but no matter how many times I apologise, she won't hear it.I've told her I'm happy and ready to move on but I'm definitely not, I was at a club with some friends and pulled a girl and I was hit with an overwhelming sense of guilt and felt dizzy and sick. I think she is genuinely moving on but and it hurts me so much, I'm so heartbroken it's unbelievable.What can I do to get her back? I've tried not talking to her for a few days and so far we've only exchanged a few comments here and there on aim and myspace. How can I make her see that I am trying to change and I definitely won't hurt her again.Another thing, we used to text or talk everyday, loads and that has abruptly stopped, will that have a positive or negative impact on how she's feeling about me, will it help or move on or make her miss me more.Thanks in advance
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Thanks for the advice, I'm definitely giving up alcohol for the time being, I do so much stupid stuff while drunk that it's not even worth the short term high anymore, I crash so badly the next day when I'm just left with my thoughts and it ultimately leaves me more depressed than before.
I'm going to spend the next few weeks trying to get her out of my mind and settling my emotions, I'll talk to her after that and if she's not interested, I'm just going to have to keep her out of my life because I won't ever get over her and that's the only option.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Also, we were dating for around half a year but I've known her well over 2 years
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): First paragraph, like I said, I was drunk, we had been going through a rough patch and I was being dramatic. I was basically saying, I'm missing you a lot right now and it's hurting our relationship.
One other thing, while still a virgin, would it be easier for her to move on to someone else, we were intimate but we never had sex, what kind of impression does that leave on her of me?
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