A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My bf cheated on me 2 yrs ago, some reason I forgave him and we're now perfect (have been going out for 3 years). My trust in him is nearly back fully, but I still feel a tad uneasy when he goes out with his friends (male). He's going out in the next few days, what can I do to forget about worrying? xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): Well you chose to forgive him which means drawing a line under it...(easier said than done, I know)
But look at it like this, whether you worry, or don't worry, you can't control what someone else may or may not do.
You either stress about it or you don't, either way if he wants to cheat again (which hopefully he doesn't and it was just a mistake) he will and you worrying about it won't change anything! I would go out with your girlfriends, when he is out with the lads, so at least you are also having fun, and enjoying yourself, giving yourself less time to think about what he may (or probably isn't!) doing. xx
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (16 January 2012):
You can't. You are not over the trust issue.
And you need to tell him you are still uneasy. See if there is something he can do to reassure you of your trust, like if he has one of those superphones with a GPS tracker on it, he can turn that on so you can monitor his movements and be able to call him to see if its actually him there.
You need full disclosure.
I want to know why you forgave him for cheating and also if he is still in contact with this woman. More information would be better.
But as far as your peace of mind is concerned, it is primarily his responsibility to restore it.
This guy is not married to you, so you have less reason to stay with him and he has more "justification" to cheat on you again as there is no legal recourse for you if he does. Keep that in mind. Hate to make you worry more, but you can't overlook those facts.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (16 January 2012):
 You know, I don't understand when women say things like "We're now perfect" when it's clearly not the case. You don't trust him and consequently you're uneasy about him going out with the boys. If you were in a "perfect" relationship, you wouldn't be worrying about possible cheating scenarios when he goes out. Cut the BS and face the truth: your relationship has issues caused by your boyfriend's infidelity. It's been 3 years and you still don't trust him. I don't blame you, I know I wouldn't be able to forgive nor forget. Some women can forgive and re-establish trust and some can't. Instead of thinking that your relationship is going great, maybe you need to look at the truth. Maybe you need to admit to yourself that you may never fully trust him and that you will always be worried when he goes out. And then ask yourself if this is what you want your life to be like.
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