A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, Ive been married 25 years. Raised three children. We have had our share of ups and downs but have stuck it out worked on things been happy. We had an incedent at christmas that left me feeling not very loved. Our daughter and I went to a spa for a couple hours. We were late one hour and he was angry. thus giving me the silent treatment. I tried apologising , talking to him, I felt like crap. after about 18 hours he talks to me like nothing happened. I'm at a loss. I sure dont feel loved by what happened but he is carrying on like nothing happened, I'm so confused. and tired. Things that I thought were rock solid are not. any suggestions??
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male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (16 January 2012):
Anyone who comes down on you for minor things has something to hide himself. Find out what he is doing.
If the asking sends him into a rage, you are warm on the trail.
A
female
reader, veneziadreamer +, writes (16 January 2012):
It seems like there must be something else underlying his anger, and sullen, silent treatment. Maybe if you could just conversationally bring it up, with no emotion or anger in your voice, very neutral, he may let you in on what really bothered him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): Silent treatment for 18 hours is emotional abuse.
Waiting to cool off a temper for an hour before speaking is fine.
Is this a normal occurance? It just seems odd that this is new behaviour after so many years of marriage. And to feel worn down by it.
I take it Husband is used to you catering to his every whim and being punctual?
I admit its unreasonable of him to the extreme. Do you normally stay at home and never venture out? Is he normally a very needy man? Do you often have to seek his permission and approval to do anything you want?
One hour 'late'? 18 hours silent treatment. Nothing happened. Hmmm. Husband a narcissist? Most narcissists pay back such 'slights' to this degree and act like nothing ever occured.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (16 January 2012):
 Honestly, this doesn't sound like a big deal at all. You were an hour late and he got upset. He probably had a bad day or was in a pissy mood and chose to take it out on you. It's not like you two had some important event to attend and you being an hour late somehow ruined it.
You're being way too hard on yourself. I definitely wouldn't feel like crap over something so petty. If he doesn't want to tell you why he is upset, let him be a child.
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