A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What can I do to feel better about myself?i split up with my fiance last year after 7 hellish years and had to enrol in a debt programme as he left me on the floor i lost so much confidence and with the help of 2 good friends started building up again. at the end of last year a new guy started my job and for a while he restored my confidence and made me feel good about myself-we were only friends but i liked him a lot but then after helping him with work he started dropping hints about needing money and stupidly ive helped him more than once even though i cant afford to. i feel used and know im a fool. i used the friendship as an excuse to put off changing jobs. i feel like im rotting there and its doing nothing for my confidence and my manager is the biggest jerk-even screaming at me when im working hard. i just want to overhaul my life but cant see a way out help !
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Good advice from Miamime. Also realize that making mistakes is allowed and it is a process we go through on our growing up journey. Just learn from the mistakes you've made and try not to make the same ones over. You can make new mistakes and you will. However....you will also have some wonderful new experiences and some good things will happen along the way.
All the best.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Oh yea, please update your post next week on information about how you have tried to change your life.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (18 July 2010):
1. You are no longer allowed to lend money to friends. Draw up a budget, put in bills, rent, entertainment, charity and all that.. under the heading marked loans to friends, you have no money to give so the number is zero.
2. Get some newspapers, get on the internet, you is going job hunting. Send out your CV every week to at least 5 different companies, or fill in 5 advertisments for jobs you may enjoy.
The effort to do this will keep you busy and focused, it will also make you focus yourself on a goal which will eventually give you a reward..
3. Forget about getting money back. From now on what you give to friends is "gifts" and not loans. If you choose to give your friend money, then it's lost and you need to accept it won't come back. Since your not rich, you can no longer afford to give any "friends" such expensive gifts.
Good luck, start on Monday when you come home.
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