A
female
age
41-50,
*odchild
writes:I need some serious advice, I met my husband when I was twenty years old. We married when I was twenty three, I am now twenty eight years of age. He always had a problem keeping a job or quitting one. As his girlfriend I offer my opinion, as his wife I advised him and hope that he make the right decisions. Anyway we had a lot of different issues. What broke the camels back and humps, was the fact he walked out on our marriage several times after arguments. Well it's been an year. During our separation our relationship's been bitter sweet. He told me to file the papers i went to get them but I never sent them in. After he asked for the divorce the same month he told me not to send the papers in, and that he was a fool and he wanted me back. The same month I became pregnant by another guy. I told him and he said that he wanted me back but without another man's baby. So during the time I realize that I have fallen for this other guy. So I'm caught in the middle for a man I knew my whole twenties and a guy I knew for a year. So undecided about what to do with my unborn. I aborted my pregnancy and decided to work things out with my husband. It was then I felt nothing but guilt. Please don't judge me. I have a child... my husband. Its just I found it very hard to sleep at night carrying another's man baby and I was still married with no courage to file the divorce. So now the other guy and I promise to break it off but we cant stay away from each other. I love my husband but I believe I'm in love with the other guy. What is a girl to do please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): You will always love your husband but you said yourself you are NOT IN love with him. Do you really want to live the rest of your life without passion and desire in your marriage? Plus he will now always be the man you aborted a baby for and you said all you feel now is guilt. Don't you think staying with this man is making that guilt worse. I think that once you can move on from him you can start moving on from that and you'll be a lot happier. Maybe it's time to spend some time on you! Then when you have you figured out, you can find that right guy.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 You may love your husband but particularly at the stage in your life when you are about to start having children it would be normal for you to be looking for a man able to take care of you and your future family. If your husband has a long record of being unable to keep a job then part of you will have lost respect for him and will not be seeing him as proper husband material. If you can't respect him then you shouldn't be married to him.
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