A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since the age of 9 until the age of 14 one of my neighbors would force me to kiss him and he would rub my legs. He does not do it any more but now I cannot allow guys to touch me or I become anxious. It bothers me because I would like to be affectionate with the guy I like but I feel odd and sick. What can I do to be able to be affectionate with the one I like. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Annaaa.  +, writes (22 March 2010):
was he like a perv or something ? i think if that happens to a young girl, it will scar them for life. boys/men dont understand how sensitive and how easily girls can become hurt/bruised. Maybe if you tell him what has happened to you, he will understand and be gentle on you.
x
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2010):
 You need to go and speak with a therapist who deals with child abuse. Do your parents know about this neighbor?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (22 March 2010):
 This was sexual abuse. He touched you inappropriatly in a way that you were uncomfortable with. He crossed your boundaries and took advantage of you as you were an innocent child. Because of this, whenever you think of being affectionate with the guy you like now, it brings back those uncomfortable feelings you had when that biy touched you.
I'd suggest councelling sweetie. You need to talk about what happened to you and to accept that it wasn't your fault. Once you can move on and leave that horrible experience in the past, you will be able to share affection and love with you boyfriend now without feeling that it is wrong.
Be strong sweetie and good luck :)
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A
female
reader, purplewasabi +, writes (22 March 2010):
 I have no experience with this situation myself, but I have had issues with being uncomfortable and insecure with guys even when I want to be with them physically.
I know it might be hard, but you could consider, after making sure you're with the right person, telling them what your repulsive neighbour did to you in the past. They could understand (as much as they can) and be gentle and careful with you.
I would also really recommend considering seeing someone about it - maybe a school counsellor if you could? Dispel the thought that counsellors are for crazies; I think your situation would be improved mentally with someone to talk to about this.
Good luck, I wish you the best.
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