A
female
age
30-35,
*essica M Payne
writes:Hello and thank you for reading this.I'm not sure if I want to be with my partner anymore.My fiance and I have been together for 13 months, and are renting a room together this friday (moving in together) My fiance is kind to my family and I, but here's the issues:- My fiance has autistic tendencies and I'm worried we will have a child the same.- My fiance objects to cleaning his room and his car is a complete mess and objects to cleaning it!- My fiance threatens to leave me if I mention seeing my friends, and also flips if I see them and don't tell him and he doesn't like me seeing them alone. He thinks fiance's are meant to do everything together...He also sees it as because he hasn't got anymore friends I can't see mine...- My fiance says he's going to tell our (future children) how I cheated on him in the first two weeks of our relationship and not to trust me or ask advice from me...- He's told me I can't work in some areas because of my exs and past "hook ups" live there...- He's also said when I get a job, I can't go and see my friends for like an hour after tea- My fiance also slaps my ass a bit to hard, bites my hand (leaving teeth marks that go) also stands on my foot while kissing me...Oh and I'm 19 and he's 22...My fiance has never actually hit me as in abuse...just playish kinda.So basically I can't do anything without him being with me...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): Obviously you care about him but there are things that need to be addressed BEFORE you move in with him. Firstly, you need to ask yourself if this relationship is really what you want or if you are holding off breaking up with him because you A) don't want to hurt him B) are unsure of how he will cope or C) are afraid to leave him for any particular reason such as not wanting to be alone. If you answered yes to any of the above then it's time to stand up and go. If none of those ring true then you need to consider how you can fix these issues. If you truly feel like most of what is causing his unpleasant behaviour is due to his autistic tendencies then you should think about bringing in a specialist counsellor to talk you both through some behaviour management techniques. Don't move in before dealing with this, if you do you will be unhappy and things will probably be a lot more messy when they do end
A
female
reader, Jessica M Payne +, writes (15 August 2012):
Jessica M Payne is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah starting to think that.
When we are together I haven't got a problem but eh, I dunno :/
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (15 August 2012):
You’re in denial about how serious this is. Biting you, standing on your foot and slapping you is physical abuse, and do you want to wait and see if it gets worse? Instead, pay attention to the red flags that are all over the place here: he’s abusive, controlling and emotionally manipulative. Should you be moving in with him? No, you shouldn’t be anywhere near him. Get out of this relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (15 August 2012):
 He is a very controlling person and I dont think this relationship is going to work I'm afraid, if you stay with him this will only get worse and you will end up with no life. He will end up making you push your friends and family away, in a job you hate just to please him - you will lose all idea of who you are as a person and become a machine that only exists to do what he wants.
You are too young to be thinking about marriage, and too young to be in such a difficult relationship so I really think you need to end this and get away from him. He knows you are young so he knows that you are easy to control, and because of your age you dont really know any better and dont stand up to him.
I suggest you get out of this before you move in with him on Friday, it will be so much harder to get out of the relationship once you have moved in together. This is never going to get better, it will only get worse and you will become more and more miserable. Dont allow yourself to be controlled like this, you are not a doormat and you deserve to have your own life as well as being in a relationship.
Sucessful relationships will normally have 2 people that have their own seperate interests and friends, yet they come back together at the end of the day and talk about all the things they have done. That is what keeps relationships interesting, if you live out of each other's pockets you will never have anything to talk about and will resent each other for being there all the time. Moving in with him will only compound this - there will be no escaping him and he will know what you are doing all day every day.
I know it will be hard to end this, but you will be making a massive mistake if you move in with him. End this now, before it is too late.
Good luck!
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