A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a woman who has been married for three yeas and have a beautiful 9 month old baby. I'm originally from southern Asia and because my husbamd is an only son, we live with his parents. My MIL works And my FIL recently was made medically retired. I am a stay at home mother and have been since I got married.My issue is my husband.He doesnt give me any money for anything towards the house. We are the same age and it really annoys me that he is irresponsible and pays nothing towards te house nor does he give me an allowance. I've asked for money but he says he will go to the ATM and take out but never does. Once in a while if I'm going shopping he might give me his card, but I want my own allowance. I'm using child benefit money to pay for everything.I also find it embarrassing that my in laws pay for everything from food to bills to everything I cant pay toward anything because I have no money. It really irritatates me and is making me lose respect for him. I love him and he is such a good man but he is living like a bachelor I've put up with it for three years!I'm thinking I might go back to work maybe part time but childcare is so expensive would it even be worth it. I'm so stressed and am depressed I feel Like I'm a 5 year old having to rely on his parents.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): I hate to say it but this is why I don't believe that traditional marriages where the wife stays at home, are a good idea. You're completely dependent on someone else to provide a roof over your head and your basic necessities. It's not good to be so completely dependent on any one person. Even if they are your spouse because as you have found, spouses can be irresponsible. I think the best thing you can do is get a job of your own and become financially independent. Open your own checking account, pay for things on your own, do not ask his parents for money anymore, that is demeaning. You're not a little kid asking daddy and mommy for an allowance. Do not financially yoke yourself to a guy who is irresponsible, even if that guy is your husband. If your husband is a train wreck, you need to save yourself.in the end, I believe that all able bodied adults should be working at jobs and making their own money. Childcare costs a lot but not usually as much as your annual income, you will have some money left over if you manage your money wisely.
A
male
reader, Mr. Don T Knowitall  +, writes (17 August 2012):
hi,
you should talk to your husband and tell him that you want to work part time. he could look after the baby. if he doesn't want to do that then you could suggest that you should have a joint bank account so you can access funds. if he still resists then you might have to get his parents involved to try to sway him. they should be supportive of a solution that saves them money, right?
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