A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in love. He's four years older than me. My problem is, I have an issue with trusting people. I don't trust people easily. I love him so very very much,but I am just a teeny bit worried that he may become possessive or abusive or something after I marry him. He tells me he loves me so much, cares about me so much, he's always there for me if I'm unhappy or anything. He says the best thing I can ever do for him if I love him is to study well and do well and get to the highest point in life. In the beginning, he used to say he's scared to start a relationship with me cos our religions are different and that would be an issue. Now he doesn't care and he usually talks about marrying me in the future, and having kids with me and stuff like that. He texts me every day, and I always know where he is or what he's doing. The only problem I have is, he has a bad temper and he likes things done his way. Sometimes he asks me to do something and if I say I don't like to, then he's like, 'ok'. But he said he doesn't like my clothes and asked me not to wear 3 quarter denims. And asked me to change my hair. He also says I'm so fat and then calls me a sexy lady. I told him I could tell him a list of things to change about himself, and he was all cool and said yes tell. He also told me he watches porn. I'm okay with that. Is taht normal??Last time he asked me to do something silly and I didn't and I teased him about it and he got really mad and said 'you bloody bitch'. Then I got upset and sent him a message telling him how i felt about that. later he called and he apologised many times and said he's sorry but he has a bad mouth and he can't help it and that he doesn't really mean any of it. There's also another thing: He doesn't want any of our class friends to know that we're together. He asked me not to tell my parents either. But he wants to take me out to dinners and all that. I told him if i'm seen with him then someone will tell my family and i'm in trouble. Then he said okay, no dinners, it's okay. And he was unhappy, but he said ok. He has no secrets from me, he's told me everything about himself, the good bad and ugly. I'm totally in love with him, and I'm happy with him. The sex is amazing. I care about him so much and he cares about me too. I can feel it. My only concern is that he expects me to change stuff about myself. And if I say no to everything, then hes like, 'you always say no to everything and disagree with what i say.' He tells me he loves me because I understand such a bad guy like him. I'm not doubting his feelings for me but I'm just worried he might become a little too controlling later. What can I do? :/
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