A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My question is quite simple really. What do you do if you have fallen for someone who lives abroad?Basically I finally met a guy who is perfect for me but I only get to see him for like 1week per year. I speek to him over the Internet and we have spoke over the phone. We have webcams too.He likes me too and tells me to go back over to Spain but I can't just leave bcos I have work etc. And he can't come to England for that reason too. He tells me things and does things that make me not stop thinking about him. I can't get him out of my mind at all and Im falling for him. What can I do?Please don't anyone tell me to forget about him bcos iv tried and it's not possible. And it wasn't just a holiday romance bcos I'm going to see him every year bcos my family have an apartment over there. I don't know what to do anymore.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): There is a Spanish saying (doesn't surprise me he hasn't mentioned it to you) goes "amor de lejos, amor de pendejos." Basically translates, long distance relationships are for fools.
It actually never crossed my mind to tell you to forget about him. Myself having travelled alot as a kid, and having family members abroad, I know all about those summer flings and vacation romances. They are the best. There are a few flings from when I was a kid that I still keep in touch with to this day =)
However, at the moment there is not much you can do about it. You can't be together right now. You can live in the "what-ifs" down the road or you can live in the present. I always took my flings for what they were, summer romances. Some boys I would think about all year round (its hard to forget some people) and sometimes even see them again a year later or so. But in the time in between that, I lived my life for today, for what I have right in front of me. You don't have to forget him, you can definitely stay in touch, you can hopefully see each other again someday, but keep your expectations REALISTIC. He is there, you are somewhere else. That pretty much sums it up...Keep doing your thing and don't stop living for some hope that maybe, there is a possibility that you might be together...no. Keep doing your thing, if it is meant to be it will unfold just as it should =)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): (girl that wrote the question)
i would go over or get him to come here but i have just got a hairdressing job which i can't give up now or my choosen career will never happen :/ and he can't come here bcos he has a job that he can't give up too.
and its not next year. i'll be seeing him again this year hopefully. i don't see anyway way of forgetting about him :(
but thankyou for trying to help
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A
female
reader, Cath1 +, writes (20 June 2010):
Love is a funny thing. It catches you out in the most non expected of places.
Why dont you ask him to come over? Is his job more important than the relationship with you or why cant you go over there if your parents have a apartment there?
Try this out. I know your parents will object but if you really feel this is it, then make it that way. At least then you can try to be together and see if it works.
Stats will say that this will not work but I am a believer in proving the stats wrong which you cant do if you both live in different countries. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (20 June 2010):
 Trust me, when you go back next year you wont like him like you do now. i thought i liked a guy from abroad and i cried and cried over him for weeks. but then i kept myself busy by seeing friends and then a year later i wasnt interested. :)
Hope this helped :)
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