A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am not getting along with my husband very well at all, it is an abusive relationship for one thing and then I have a big problem in that it is like he is married to his mother. He is at her beck and call always sending her money because his parents want money all the time, I told him you was just born to make money for them. so it means I have to pay the bills and shopping etc.. So it may as well be me working for them. Then she will put his younger sisters on the phone saying they won't talk to us if we don't send them anything like gifts of clothing etc.... She has thrown herself down a hill when my husbands sister got married to someone she did not like who is actually a nice decent working bloke and my husbands little sister knows what the mother did and when she throws a tantrum as kids do she also threatens to throw herself of this hill near there home. My husband talks endlessly all day to his mother on viber and no I am not jealous I am just sick and tired of this behaviour and I did never see a man behave like this before. When it was my sons birthday from a previous marriage my husband said well he's not my son why should I buy him anything, yet I have spent loads of money on his mother and family buying them gifts etc and now I have stopped my husband is verbally abusing.I have never seen them send or give my husband anything and my husband never has anything because he gives it all to them, I end up buying my husband clothing etc.Also he will complain if I spent any money on my family, but my family don't ask me for anything I do this because I want to.My husband has never ever bought me anything and I never asked him for anything it's just me that has done to much for him.I'm tired of it all. He puts them who do absolutely nothing for him before me it is all one way. Other people have told him as well that they are just using him but he doesn't listen.Does anyone have any advice for me please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 January 2016):
 There is, really, only ONE question for you. To wit: How quickly are you going to dump this creature and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE??????
Good luck...
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 January 2016):
 If you are in an abusive relationship then my advice to you is to get out off it.
If he wants to keep this marriage alive then he needs to treat you with respect and not only that but he should be paying half of the bills.
He has a horrible attitude towards your son, which is a shame as when he married you he should have realized he was taking on a step son as well, this kind of attitude is not fair on your son.
Was he like this before you both got married or did he suddenly change? You need to stop being so soft with him, stop buying him things, demand he pays half of the bills or else he is out of the house and stand your ground, do not let him bully you.
It sounds to me like this marriage cannot cope any longer, and I doubt he is going to change so you need to make a decision on if you want to stay in such an unhappy marriage?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 January 2016):
 Is he the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Are these things (like him worshiping his momma and spending all his money on HIS side of the family) something you will accept? If not... I'd divorce him.
Some of this I think is partly cultural I'm guessing. And he is from a different cultural background (maybe Asian) and you are not?
Seems to me that not only HE but his family takes full advantage financially of you, and that is not going to change unless YOU change the rules or divorce him.
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