A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16. I just had sex with my boyfriend for the past year. I love him and I'm lucky to be with him, but I feel so bad about sleeping with him. It was my first time and I feel like I gave up a part of myself. I'm scared people are going to find out and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I feel guilty and regret it and wish I could go back in time and change things. What can I do? I'm so confused and guilty and regretful. Would telling him this help? What can I do for myself? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 333 +, writes (7 March 2009):
Well, what's done is done. Unfortunately you can't go back in time. D;
Sad but true. Try not to worry too much about it. And if it makes you feel better, talk to him about it.
Maybe he'll cheer you up.
Listen to music, hang out with friends,do something fun that will keep your mind off of this.
I bet its very hard for you..I can't really understand what you are going throught because I am still a virgin.
Good luck. (:
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (6 March 2009):
 You are young. You made a mistake. You do want to repeat the mistake. You are a teenager just learning another lesson toward adulthood. Congratulations! You just made a very adult decision.
Except:
Do not wallow in regret. Chalk it up as a valuable lesson in life. Move on.
But, if you did not wear any protection (condom), I would suggest that you get yourself tested for STD. Ask your doctor you want to get regularly tested (even when you abstain from sex in the next 1-2 years) for other STD/STI that only shows signs of being virulent after 6-12 months of being infected.
Tell your b/f that while you love him very much, you don't feel comfortable with what you had done. And that it was not his fault (I hope he did not "force" you to do it). Nor was it yours. You made the wrong judgment call, that is all.
If he decided to move on because you would like to abstain from sex for the foreseeable future, then he is not the person you want to be with anyways. Nor would any guy you would later meet and date if they move on because of your refusal to sex. If they do not respect your wishes to abstain from sex, you would not want them either.
You don't need to tell your friends if you did not want to. If they talked behind your back, calling you a hypocrite, or a slut, or anything derogatory, just ignore them. They do not live your live. Good friends are supposed to be accepting and loving and caring and non-judgemental. If they are not, you can still be acquainted to them, but you no longer need nor want to confide in them. You do not want them to be an important part of your life anymore.
We cannot go back in time and change things. But we can choose friends who we know will be supportive of us. For you, you may just find that "friend" in your mother - when you tell her. If she loves you unconditionally, she and you will cry together, but she will wipe your tears away for you.
If you cannot tell your mother now, there is no need to force yourself to rush to her. If you are a religious person, you may find solace in your prayers. Prayers have healing powers because they teach you to be humble yet positive.
Allow yourself to forgive yourself. And to forgive your b/f.
Continue to focus on your school and college. You will know when the time comes to confide in your mother, or serious boyfriend.
After you finish crying, tell yourself you have learned big time. And move on to be a better person.
Cat
...............................
|
