A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is always over my shoulder when I receive a text message. It is really annoying becasuse I can't text my friends without him interrupting. I don't read his messages, so why does he read mine? When I tell him that I don't like him reading my messages, he goes mad and accuses me of having an affair. What can I do and say to convince him I'm not having an affair and I just want to read my messages in private?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): I have been with a controll freak like this before. He started hitting me. Leave him.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (24 August 2007):
 Your boyfriend is a control freak and it is a very bad sign. If he is accusing you of affairs then he is very insecure about relationships. You won't convince him you are being honest because he accuses you of affairs to allow himself access to your mobile messages. You have every right to read your messages in private and to have a private life - there is nothing in the rules of dating etiquette that say you have to tell him everything about yourself at every minute of the day. I would give serious thought to this relationship because his behaviour is already verging into emotional abuse, and could escalate to something worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): ur partner is probaly very insicure and has low self esteem and confidence he will not see that it makes u thing he doesnt trust you .He will only think that if you havent got anything to hide then why cant he read ur tx. as much as it anoys you, you need to find out why he would think you would cheat on him and talk about it with him. i no you sould be entile to your prviacey and im sure once you have found the reason for his paranoya you will both be able to move on.Just explain to him that it anoys you and upsets you that he would think you would do someting like that and make him awear that you love him but its not fair that you feel he cant trust you. hope all works out ok x x
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (24 August 2007):
 You should not have to say or do anything if he can't trust you, then i'm sorry but you have no relationship. if he can have his privacy then you are entitled to have yours as well.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): i really think that he may have some trust problems.
you should talk to him and make it clear to him that you aren't hiding anything from him you would just like to be able to read your own messages, there is nothing wrong in that as they were snet for you so you should be able to read your own messages with out him needing to be looking over your shoulder when you recieve a message.
just say to him that your messages are meant for you and that he can read them after to start building his confidence but you want to read them first. x
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