A
male
age
41-50,
*razy_looney
writes:Well this has been bothering me for quite a while now. I'm a stay at home father to a 3 year old boy and once a week myself and my son meet up from parents where we met when our little 1's was new born and formed a group going around each others houses. I've always got on with most of the women there but one lady stands out and her little boy. My son and her's always play together and so I thought why not meet up out of the kids clubs we take our children? As she doesn't drive I offered to take them to other parks and woods and places that she can't get to so after the groups at each others house I take her and her son and my son to different parks every or almost every week and meet up on Saturdays to go to the parks or woods to have picnic or feed the ducks etc as it is good for kids to learn and enjoy nature and things around them but this has caused a problem with her husband and he thinks we are having a affair. I've met her husband and asked if he cared to join us at the weekend for trips as he doesn't work at weekends but he says no and all he wants to do is sit on the PC all day and thinks that his son don't need so much freash airHe had a row with his wife and done damage to their house as he has a nasty temper so I met him again to explain that there's nothing going on between me and his wife and that we are only doing it for the kids. (If we were, why would I come to him to his house? but he say well its just a decoy so he won't know. Later that day again he lost his temper and damaged the house) Me and this lady can have a nice chat instead of talking to little 1's all the time. We've talked about everything you can think off. We get on so well. Me and my wife now ever hardly see each other as she is out all the time working and studying so I don't get much time to see her but here's why the problem lies.. this lady asked me the other week if there's anything between us as she feels chemistry. I feel that there is but avoided the question as in saying I suppose there is but I feel it's a strong friendship feeling but deep down there is other feelings I have for her but not sure what those are.I think about that a lot more than I should. she says the same thing to me that she thinks about me a lot and also on this day she told me as always I went to give her a kiss on the cheek but ended up not kissing, we just froze and then said our good byes...What is going on and what shall I do about this and these feelings rather confused person here
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female
reader, shyboots  +, writes (11 July 2007):
Thats the trouble when husbands and wives drift apart isnt it?? It leaves an opening for temptation to sneak in. Maybe cool it with this lady and make an effort to make your wife feel special and spend some quality time with her, try and get back what attracted you to each other enough to make a life together?? Hope it works out for you.
A
male
reader, Furthling +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Honestly, I'm not speaking as a fire-and-brimstone "defend marriage" christian at all here, but you know, when you set out to raise kids, and there's a division of labor like, somebody works, somebody is a full-time stay at home parent, there's an issue, it seems to me, with trying to develop a relationship with somebody else just because your spouse, you know, it sounds like, isn't around all the time. It might be better to, you know, work on your relationship with your wife, and her, with her husband (although, the temper thing is scary).
And that's just based on what you've essentially promised, as a parent and husband. The other side of it is, what makes you think you wouldn't have just as many issues with each other, as you have respectively with your spouses? Even if the *nature* of those problems might potentially change some (e.g., finances), there's a reason there's a probverb about "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
I would watch your step, try not to hurt anybody's feelings or mislead anybody, and work on your marriage... or decide to end it WITHOUT getting involved with this other woman at all.
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