A
female
age
36-40,
*irltroubles05
writes:So here's the deal...my boyfriend and I are perfect for each other. Everything about him is what I desired in a man. The reason why my problem bothers me so much is because I know I have a long future ahead with him and these problems are the only thing in between a long happy future.His best friend is a dirt bag. I got along with him at first, then realized that he sleeps around and uses girls. He ended up getting a one night stand pregnant while visiting my boyfriend and I...oh did I mention on OUR bed???So after he found out she was pregnant, he asks my boyfriend (who's not even a friend of the girl's) to go talk to her and convince her to get an abortion. This girl, mind you, makes my boyfriend feel sorry for her by confiding in him that she can't because she's already had too many!!! Uhhh...OK.So she can't give it up. So K, my boyfriends best friend asks me multiple times to punch her "one good time" in the stomach and he'll give me however much money I want. Of course I say NO but he insisted on asking me. I felt very uncomfortable at the fact that he'd even say such a thing and of course my boyfriend makes an excuse that he's just joking. I'm sorry but even a joke shouldn't be like that.Anyway, what should I do or how should I feel so that this jack*** doesn't come between my perfect relationship? I can't even look at him or hear his name without feeling beet red and upset. Oh and what made matters a little more awkward and upsetting was that after K's family found out and weren't ready to kill him, he asks MY BOYFRIEND to be the godfather!!!!! What in the world???? Please help me deal with this problem. I always talk to my boyfriend about it but that's "always going to be his best friend." Uggggghhhhhhh....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Oh and one more thing: if your boyfriend isn't sensitive to your feelings regarding his friend and if he doesn't make an effort to better the situation, is he really the right guy for you? I'd have to wonder... My ex showed me exactly who he really was early on in our relationship, when he defended his friend for slagging me: a spineless tool. Too bad I overlooked my own bf's spinelessness and insensitivity because I was so focused on what a jerk his friend was; I wasted another year on him before his friend finally won and got my ex to dump me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I'm so sorry to say this, especially as I've been in exactly your situation before (my ex always sided with his douchebag "friend" and ended up dumping me, encouraged by the douchebag), but there really isn't anything you can do, apart from removing yourself from any situations that put you anywhere near this ass and ensuring your bf understands why you are doing so. If you try to come between them (and your bf will interpret any criticisms you make of the jackass as your trying to take his friend away), your bf will choose the jackass over you. Either you take them both or you leave them both. It's a package deal. Unless your bf one day wakes up and realizes what a jerk his friend is and decides for himself to cut him out of his life. Are you willing to wait for that day to come? If so, for how long? What if that day never comes?
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