A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. I am 16 and he is 17. When we first started to go out he was constantly lying to me and said he only done it so people would like him. But it was affecting our relationship so he stopped lying for a long period of time and things where going great but recently he has been lying again. But the thing that gets me is that he lies about the smallest things ever. For example who he is with and where he has been even what time he goes to sleep at!I love him very much, but I am scared that if he lies about the little things then he could be lying about the big things, like saying he loves me?The lies make us constantly argue and because of these lies I have become this jelous, paraniod person which I hate! I even cut myself because I have been so depressed recently. He says he only lies to me because he doesnt want me to get angry about the people he was with but I wouldn't be angry if he would just tell me the truth?He says the only way that he can stop the lying is for me to trust him and he says our relationship will never work if I dont trust him but how can I trust him when he lies so much.I really want this to work but I just dont know what to do. I really do want to trust him but its so hard. I really need some advice on what to do. I am now very insecure about myself and very paranoid about where he is all the time. I hate this person that I have become. He says he only wants me and no one else but how can I believe him? Please help.
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female
reader, speedcat  +, writes (1 February 2008):
the boyfriend is the least of your problems right now...you need to work on you. your boyfriend may tell lies but this is not his fault that you cut up. this is an issue within yourself, there will be many times in your life that people will lie and decieve you but life will go on and cutting wont help! you need to see a pychiatrist, you are hurting deep inside and just maybe need to talk to someone. get help for yourself! good luck sweetie
A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Lies in a relationship are never good. If his lies are over something small now, what would happen over something serious? Also you need to see a GP or counsellor as cutting yourself is self harm, probably because you are anxious over your b/f, or maybe there are other issues. Seek help now. As for your relationship, you are very young and should be enjoying a social life. This is no existance for anyone, let alone a teenager. I hope it all works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
Your boyfriends lies at the beginning have affected your relationship, He admitted to lying as to make himself feel liked so your b/f is the insecure one sweetheart. And because he is so insecure his lies have stopped you trusting him so therefor your relationship struggles, You get hurt and worry like you said if he lies about little things then you get concerned that he is lying about the big things, This in turn plays on your mind and your b/fs insecuritiys become yours, Hunny you have to stop the cycle as you are now in a place that you really dont want to be, My husband lied all through our marriage and I became someone who I couldnt recognise when I looked in the mirror, plus I also cut my arms... ITS NOT GOOD! First its controlling your life so you now have to start getting it back, Id suggest counselling and a time apart from your b/f untill you feel better, You may not like this idea but hunny a relationship is based on trust and he was the one who broke it by the lies and now he is the one who wants you to trust him. HOW!
http://www.selfharm.org.uk/default.aspa
http://www.wikihow.com/Regain-Confidence
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/living_with_suspicion/public/living_with_suspicion.html
Ive given you some usfull links to help love if you need a chat message me TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (31 January 2008):
 It sounds to me like HE doesnt trust YOU. If he cannot stop lying you need to find someone who will treat you right, which includes trusting you and not lying to you.
By the way, cutting your self is NOT going to solve the problem and if he makes you feel that way you REALLY need to leave him.
Also, You need to speak with your doctor about that.
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