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What can I do about feeling so confused? I think I've outgrown my partner.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need some opinions on my relationship of about a year and a half. I used to adore my partner but now I just care for him more as a friend.

He seems lazy and slobbish lately, which of course makes me feel terrible but it also makes me want more in life.

He doesn't shower enough, his place is very dirty, I try my best not to go there now. I feel like he doesn't listen to me, and when I call him he's generally gaming so he doesn't pay attention. I hate having sex with him, it's a chore and I rarely get anything from it.

Today he suggested we go away together for a weekend to connect... and to have sex, which he bluntly pointed out.

I feel bad, cause at the same time I'm thinking I want to split. I haven't seen much of him lately, but I've been okay with it.

I've been talking with friends I lost contact with and I'm enjoying my life without him (besides a phone call every second day and the odd meeting perhaps once a week).

There's nothing wrong with the relationship, I think I've just outgrown it. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel very confused on what to do. Please help!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYes, it's time to walk away. First of all, if he is gaming non-stop and can't even BOTHER to take a 5-10 minute break to talk to you? Then he is still in a mindset where having a GF might not even BE a priority.

Feeling grossed out because he doesn't take care of himself, O can only imagine. Makes me think of that Southpark episode where the kids all game in the basement ending up all nasty...

Sex should NEVER be a chore.

Some might say OH you should tell him he needs to shower and clean his place, my guess is you HAVE told him before.. and you can tell him till you turn blue... it's not going to happen. And you are NOT his mother, you shouldn't HAVE to tell him how to be NOT nasty.

Don't ask for a break or "let's be friends" if that is NOT what you want.

Get it done, don't drag it out.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (9 June 2015):

eyeswideopen agony auntTime to move on Honey. Be as kind as you are firm when you break up with him, do not give him a glimmer of hope to hang on to, remember like pulling off a bandaid. You just be as honest and kind as you can be. You will also be doing him a favor by setting him free to find someone who will more compatible with him. Good luck.

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