A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a bit disgusting but I really need advice!My boyfriend likes me to put a finger or 2 in his rear when I do other stuff to him, and that's ok with me, I have no problems doing it, the response I get from him is great, it's erotic and fun.Only thing is, sometimes when I have my finger inside, I can feel quite obviously that his bowels aren't exactly empty if you know what I mean. Once I actually couldn't get more than half of one finger inside. It's icky, sure, but more of an inconvenience than anything, when I'm trying to pleasure him and there's an obstruction, for lack of a nicer word. It takes loads of the pleasure out of it for me too.I feel can't possibly tell him about this, because I know he'd be so embarassed, and I don't want to do that to him. I wouldn't want him to stop asking me to do it either because I know he loves it. I could never bring the problem up with anyone I know either. So I don't really know what to do! Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, WhiteKnight  +, writes (1 April 2009):
 A finger up the ass is not my idea of a good time, but there is a reason why it is for many - males, its because a finger up the ass puts pressure on the prostate, which increases sensation before and during ejaculation.
But as for your issue, yeah, bare fingers is gross, at least put your fingers in a condom or something (if you don't already) - and as for the other problem, the least he can do before expecting you to do that is take a shit on general principle. The easiest, fastest and most useful solution is basically tell him - you can't go deeper due to resistance, go shit and shower and you'll try again.
A
male
reader, andy747 +, writes (28 March 2009):
you started off by saying your alright with doing this thing, but since you went through the trouble of posting this question, you've obviously gotten to the point where you aren't going to be able to tolerate this much longer, and eventually it's going to cause problems. first of all, doing this with what i assume is your bare hand isn't exactly healthy for eithe of you. if you really like this guy and this is such a turn off for you, you're going to end up telling him eventually, and the sooner you do it the better. because if you let it go too long, and then tell him, he'll be wondering why you waited so long. if he really does care for you too, it is probably more important to him that you enjoy you're sexual activity. it won't be easy, and i know it will be embarassing for both of you, but my guess is is that it will come up eventually and the sooner you get it out of the way, the fewer repercussions there will be. hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): You should just tell him. Tell him you want to please him, but it will only bring pleasure if it works both ways. If you can't do that, you could put a condom over your fingers, or try something more intense (a strap on if he's willing, as long as you are comfortable with it too, it can be very enjoyable)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): I'm the original poster, I just realised that I didn't say that my boyfriend himself hasn't noticed this problem when I use my fingers on him, so thought I'd add it in, incase I wasn't clear on that front. He has no idea there's any such issue.
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