A
female
age
30-35,
*ngelasmiles
writes:Sorry if this is super long.I have a boyfriend and we have been together for a little over 2 years. I love him very much and he claims to love me know. I've always thought that we had an honest relationship but the other day he admitted to me about lying to me about smoking pot for the past 6 months. He volunteered to quit it himself. I never asked him to. And I just don't know what to do. I am so hurt. But this is not the only time he's hurt me. I caught his txt to his friend saying that he's looking for another girl if I don't stop "bitching" about a year and a half ago. And I also found pictures of him with girls on fb and he denied until I showed him the pictures. Sometimes he makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I've never been happier but sometimes he makes me want to die. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): I know how you feel. I have been in two relationships with liars. And the feeling you get when you feel like your being lied to or find out about the lie is the worst.
If it were just the pot thing I would say to work through it considering he said he wanted to quit. But after hearng bout the pics with irls he denies and everything else I say to bbreak it off. I know two years is a long time and you seem like you really love him, but trust and communication are the most important things in a relationship. You can't trust him and he can't communicate to you.
Here is another option...try telling him that it really hurts you that he has lied to you and that you don't want it to ruin your relationship. Work through it and when you do find out about a lie or something, don't start of by acusing him or getting angry. Negative reactions only cause people to shut down, or lie more, or the next time they do something they know you'll get mad about they just won't tell you (which is the same as lying).
Good luck to you! No one deserves to be in a relationship where they can't trust their partner.
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