A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I'm 31 years old and still a virgin and haven't had a BF. I was brought out in a religious family. Yet, I never found myself attracted to anyone and have a relationship with even inside the church. The same happened in school, I wasn't the best looking girl nor the ugliest. There were worst and still found someone.Not even in college, I mean I did liked several guys, but they were never attracted to me, they only saw me as a friend. There was some guys who found me attracted but they were far much older or I was even stalked by a schizo.Now, in my job I followed the same pattern, I liked a guy but he didn't liked me.A year ago I met a guy who I felt very attracted to and he flirted with and all but turned out to be married. A PAIN still suffering for him. Maybe, I like the attention he gave although it has being long distance.I fell in love with this guy, and now I feel I'm in an abism b/c I feel I going no where with someone who doesn't love me and who I know will never fulfill anything at all. What can I do to get myself free and find someone with whom I can make a family with?All the guys I feel attracted to are either married or committed and unavailable, and the ones who are single I'm not attracted to them. What's wrong with me? I'm regular looking and not considered rude or bad girl.
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depressed, fell in love, flirt, long distance, stalking, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): What are your fears about committment?? On some level your attention is only noticing the unavailable ones as attractive.
Pease get the book, "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. It may at least help you understand some things about how you were raised and how that might be getting in the way of what you want for yourself.
Sometimes, women will want guys they can't have, i.e. married ones, guys in prison, or "commitment-phobes"...because they fear true intimacy for whatever reasons. Just my opinion, best of luck to you!!
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