A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing a married man for around 9 months now and he loves her and there is a baby invovled.... im starting to fall for him but we talk anytime we can and we see each other when we get the chance... we have a blast together its almost perfect. i know he may never leave his wife but the way he treats me is unreal! when i need something he is there and its hard to explain hes not like most guys. we have some much in common and some of the stuff we do talk about his wife they dont! the way he looks at me,and if he is staring at me when we are watching tv he smiles so big when i look back over at him! im wondering if i make him happy and she dont, do you think he would leave her he seems unhappy with her and hes afraid of hurting her. he seems like the type of guy if he hurt her he would prob hurt worse. he tells me everything about his friends and his home life i trust him... am i blind? anybody that has been in this same situation let me know how it turned out...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): If he was afraid of hurting his wife, he wouldn't be involved with you right now. Just because she may not know of his affair with you at the moment, she and their baby are being short-changed every minute he spends with you instead of them. (Although, all of this is up for debate considering he is currently very weak of character right now!)
And, if he did leave his wife for you, what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you?? Don't think you're so "special" -his wife WAS at one point too, or else he wouldn't have married her. If he can do this to his wife, then he can someday do it to you, or anyone else for that matter!
In my opinion, guys who cheat on their wives do it for two main reasons: 1)Oppurtunity - because they can, IF they are so inclined to do so; 2)They are inclined to do so because they never learned how to ask for what they need from others, so they try go around the "issues" rather than try and fix them, creating even more problems outside of just themselves. Totally selfish and ignorant.
Is that someone you want in your future? To take care of your babies you might have with him?
Do you want to deal with his would-be ex wife and all of their custody and divorce battles they are sure to go through if he does decide to leave her for you?
Do you want to take care of his step-child?
Would you ever wish to go through what his wife and child may suffer for someday?
If you are religious, can you look your God in the eyes and say that you are proud of be part of ruining a marriage?
You have a lot of hard questions to ask yourself about what you are doing and what he is doing. Both of you are hurting a lot of people right now. I hope you will be the stronger one make and the right choice for everyone involved.
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