A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and I have been together a long time. we have the same sense of humor, get along great and enjoy the same social activities. the problem we are having that isn't getting much better is our sex life. he has a impotence problem 3/4 of the time. i think it is because of his daily drinking. he continues to drink and has stopped medicine to help correct the problem because of the price. the second problem with our sex life is i am always the giver. he enjoys being pleasured in numerous ways but doesn't ever return the favor. i have asked him to more than once to but he says he doesn't enjoy it. he also enjoys sexual fantasys of cheating, rape and alot of name calling. i want for him to be more romantic but i don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. i love him so i want that bond between us. what can be said or done so it our sex life improves?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice. i guess i need to stop wishing for more because i know in my heart that it wont improve. i fear making him angry or upset over my concerns so i will never be able to express what i truly feel. ive adjusted to his ways. ive learned to be "content" and that is how it should stay. i waited years in the hope that we would get back together so i dont want to lose him over minor issues.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): if you're going to stay with him, you need to be able to tell him the truth without hurting his feelings. if he is the guy for you, he needs to be willing to put something back into your sex life. The problem cannot be fixed just by you alone. he may be unwilling to try to please you for fear of not being successful (creating in him the feeling you probably get). this anxiety might also be the source of the impotence. make sure he knows exactly what you want. but keep in mind, you can't have a relationship with yourself. both parties have to give, and take.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): sounds like he's lazy and selfish…sounds like he should find maybe a natural remedy for his impotency…OR stop drinking!
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A
male
reader, DANNY123 +, writes (19 February 2009):
the drinking part maybe that has something to do with it but you could always buy pills for that problem......talk to him about it tell him you want him to be romantic its good to be rough sometimes but its also more plesure do have sex in a romantic way that contributes to the relationship alot my girlfriend always tells me what she like or doesnt and we have a great relationship and a grea sexlife good luck
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