A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what's wrong with me. Every time I am not near my boyfriend I feel really sad. Borderline depressed. And I don't know why. We are both in our early 20s and have been together for almost three years, we live together and until recently we worked together as well. I don't know whether it is just because he has moved jobs but every time i'm not around him I feel really sad and unmotivated to do anything. I think about him constantly and even if he is just out with friends or gone to the shops I miss him so much. I know this is not normal and i've tried telling myself to get a grip but I don't know what to do.Is there any explantion for the way I'm feeling?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): I mean this in the most non-offensive way possible...
get a hobby! Something that you can get really into and enjoy by yourself/ cheer yourself up
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (6 July 2015):
 Depression can be evident in people in every community. it is very prevalent and very treatable. It is not your fault in any way that you are depressed, in fact for some depression there is no reason whatsoever. Any part of our body can get sick. Knees, elbows, heart, lungs, kidney and our brains occasionally.You can think you are identifying reasons for the depression when in truth it is sometomes none of the reasons you identify. I've heard many people advance many reasons for their depression. Your health needs to be your number one priority. Make an appointment to see your doctor as a priority. Talk it over with your doctor.Are you sleeping soundly or do you have trouble getting to sleep? Do you wake up in the night very easily. Changed sleep patterns can occur when you are depressed.You've already mentioned that you feel unmotivated. That comes with the depression.Are you eating regular healthy meals or have your eating habits changed? Too little or too much? That too can become more pronounced if you are depressed.plus you have had a major recent change occur recently. Changes - good or not so positive changes can trigger depression. You used to work closely with your boyfriend and you found that a great comfort. But now that support at work is not there as he has moved to a new job.Understandably he may be putting a lot of effort into learning the ropes with that new job and maybe he is arriving home tired.Rather than blame you in any way - that's just not applicable.You are not in need of ''getting a grip''.Instead you need to list all the changes you've noticed and the times when you feel anxious and tell it all to the Doctor.Just in case you miss anything list it all in writing for the doctor so that he/she can read your summary of how you are feeling and the depression you are experiencing.Ask the Doctor to also consider referring you for a short course of counselling to help you work through the issues one on one.Never be ashamed of being depressed. Some of the strongest bravest and kindest people in the world suffer depression at some stage in their lives.Never allow yourself to label you as weak for experiencing depression. Depression is an illness of the brain. You did not make this happen. Depression affects 25 percent of all people in any community. The smart ones seek treatment.Depression can occur when a series of pressures build up like single grains of sand. Each grain of sand, individually, looks so small. Yet the mighty sand hills of Saudi Arabia are made up of just sand.And if people have not been putting themselves first, and instead have been pouring all their love, care and compassion into others then they can suffer compassion overload - leading to anxiousness, super vigilance and then often to depression. If you haven't done something really nice, that is just for you, for a very long time then schedule a trip to a day spa. Or a bunch of flowers that are just for you.Because we all need to be kind to ourselves first, every day. That's not selfish, it's called survival.it's not about getting a grip or being told to pull your socks up. It's about getting the best possible care for you and your health. That is the very least you do deserve.Once the Doctor has seen you and given you support and hopefully referred you to a counsellor and once you've experienced some counselling you should start to feel better.
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