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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: How can I be happy ,if my son is a drug addict? Do I have a right to stop contacting me? i love him and I did everything I possibly could for him. He is not alone , his brother is down the road with him. They are adults now.He kind of took him down. My life is a mess, and i spent many days and money, but nothing got better. It is very long time ago the same, around 10 years. My husband is together in this with me, but very hard on on mariage.I'm so afraid they going to die, or end up doing a terrible crime. What can a parent do,if their kids chose this path?How can I go for vacation,or enjoy my life in any way?Should I leave them for a while or I have to suffer with this to the end end of my life?
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female
reader, Mrs. Mom  +, writes (13 February 2009):
 You absolutely have the right to have a good life, even if your children are going down the wrong path. What good will it do them if you are miserable too? And think of your marriage; if you are consumed with worry about your son and refuse to have good times with your husband, where will that leave him? Take care of yourself and your marriage!
Look into the organization called Nar-Anon.http://nar-anon.org/index.html This is a non-profit self-help group that supports families of drug addicts and helps them to lead good lives despite the addiction that affects them. I have been in Al Anon for families of alcoholics for years, and it made a huge difference in my life. Try them--they have walked the same path as you.
Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Thanks very much. Yes it is heart breaking. As they are my most important thing in life. I love them, yet I think you are right. I must take care of myself. I'm trying to, but it is very very hard process. Planing to leave for a long trip around Europe long time ago, with my husband, but I never felt I had the right to do so. Maybe now I will try, and see what happens if we are out of the picture for a while. Thanks very much again.
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A
female
reader, Auntie Stoned +, writes (12 February 2009):
You have done and sacrificed alot as a parent. Your children are already adults. Let them go and take responsibility over their own decisions. Take care of your own marriage and health. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): I'm very sorry for your situation, but they´re adults now, if you go down that road it'll be the four of you suffering.I know it's hard, but you need to let go. They have two hands and one head and can provide for themselves and make thier own decisions.If you don't let go, you'll damage your marriage too. You and your husband need to hold yourselves toghether and support each other. I know its very painful to see a child go the wrong path, but you've loved them and educated them and sometimes the outside influences are stronger.I think you and your husband should sit down and talk about your options. If its possible you should move away and focus on yourselves and your marriage and regaining the peace and happiness that's been stolen from you.If you support and are always there for whatever "your children" need, there's less chance they'll ever stand up for themselves or try to put their act toghether.YOU CAN'T HELP SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO HELP HIMSELF. Please learn that. Otherwise, they'll have chosen to ruin their lifes but you'll be doing the exact samething, just instead of chosing drugs, you are choosing your children. I know that's what feels right for you, but drugs are what feels right for them too.Go away, host a dinner party the day before you go away and tell them that you love them, but that it pains you so much to see them like that. But that there's not so much you can do anymore.Tell the you're going away to regain some peace, and that you'll pray for them and hope for they recovery.No matter what, go away the next day. I know it'll be very hard, especially at first, but I do know it's the best you can do for yourself, for your marriage and for your sons. Ask god to take care of them, and go to sleep with the confidence that despite being hard, it's the best you can do for them.Don't loose hope and take care of yourself and your husband.
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