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*eonard j. Douglas
writes:I am asking all of you Agony Aunts how you feel about Men watching Porn on The Web. You men out there, Please, let the women have their say. Who knows,Together we may learn how they feel about Web Porn. And you Ladies, please, feel free to speak your mind.
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female
reader, BunnyBoiler X  +, writes (24 May 2008):
porn is good and i dont find it wrong at all !!! but ... its addictive !! and i am 12 years old !!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Relationships go through many fazes, attraction, courtship, then passion/intimacy. Unfortunately the euphoria of this process is different for men and women. When this is looked at from a primal standpoint, love and sex will wane through these stages. Just like an addiction to drugs, chocolate, or whatever sex affects dopamine and serotonin receptors
in the brain. Women are just as attracted to good looking sexy men whether they choose the internet or the latest "Bachelor unreality tv show" Women have these feelings just as men do but women bear children men don't. This is the only separation between the sexes. My belief is that
a healthy lifetime partnership between a man and a woman will not hinge upon how much internet porn any particular partner watches, or how the other partner perceives it. It is how they both relate to each other. Porn only becomes a problem when one of the partners becomes neglected or "falls out of attraction" Often caused by (motherhood) to the other. This is almost always the reason for "One sided internet or opposite sex compulsive searching" Of course for all the single people out there the internet is a huge release of pentup sexual frustration. So I see it as a great thing that in fact is why it is so popular. So be honest with yourself. All the prudes are only waiting for the right stimulus. Lighten up enjoy it. You can't fight mother nature.
Is your partner becoming cold? If so
you will naturally crave human contact. This is not something you can change. Sexuality is one of the great gifts of life. Just don't practice it in public unless you are sure the audience is receptive. Get it?
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male
reader, Atlguy  +, writes (19 February 2008):
If it prevents your S.O. from cheating, porn is great. Its the only thing that keeps me from cheating in a sexless marriage.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): why do you have to be so sexist???ok so you really cant understand why porn is a problem? because its NOT the problem!!the problem is these stupid bitches who were brought up to think that porn and masturbation is dirty that "it's not right" im a female and i have a fiance but that doesnt stop me watching porn then i take some of those scenes and incorporate it in the bedroom, its not just the man thats supposed to spice things up so get your head together, if you dnt like porn for whatever reason then fine dont watch it, but if you split with your partner cos they like watching porn then you deserve to be on your own you closed minded clots!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): Internet porn is a disease like being on drugs, once you starts watching you will continue to watch more and more. The more you watch the more you crave. First conventional porn, then hardcore porn, anal sex porn, bizzarre porn, shemale porn, and eventually up on to zoophilia. My best friend's husband is addicted to online porn, nearly distroys her marriage.
I hate it, it is sick.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Ah, so the real question was how to spice up a hohum sex life? I can't tell you what works for your partner, but what works for me, and I think pays back dividends to my partner, is when he is 100% focused on me and my desires. Back rubs, foot rubs, neck nibbling, hearing how desirable he finds me. Lots of touching, sweet nothings murmured in my ear, essentially romantic contact makes me want to please him back! Knowing you're loved and found sexy makes me feel sexy and responsive.I think most women are not turned on by conventional porn and in fact find it intimidating to try to match the performances given by the highly paid female stars. What I think most women want is to be found unbearably desirable and having that demonstrated. That, and having their needs put first at least in one encounter. I'd suggest a session where you focus on nothing but pleasing her, and pleasing her several times! Massage, candles, music can help set a stage. My guess is that she'll want to reciprocate like crazy!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Porn is here to stay and porn stories are there to read, if a man needs to look at porn that much, if will make his woman wonder what he is needing, what he feels that he is missing. She finds fault with herself, later she finds he may not get an erection the way he used to, or he comes in turned on by porn and wants to make love to her... sadly its really just sex. To me porn can turn me on but also it is totally ruining a perfect love I found with some one. He is addicted to porn and swinging and it makes me feel superfluous. There is nothing you can do about it, if the man or woman wants this in her life, perhaps they need that high adreneline kick . Love will never be the happy answer for them. It is sex they want.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): Sick and totally OTTIts not needed, sex ahould be a beautiful thing. It causes a lot of breakups, thats what porn is and does
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): Well, it's easy to find isn't it? It doesn't cost anything extra if you're on broadband and it's not as potentially embarassing as walking into a shop and asking for something related to any particular fetish you might have.
Some of it is downright nauseous filth and at the other end of the spectrum it can be very erotic giving rise to some interesting experiments in the bedroom.
I find a lot of it highly amusing with some of the women having surgically enhanced features, very often what one might call botched surgery, where the gap between their boobs isn't so much a valley as a chasm with a half watermelon either side. Then there's the men with very impressive 10"+ tackle that no woman could possibly cope with unless she'd had her innards removed.
To my mind it's mostly entertainment, but some of it is just plain wicked in the truest sense of the word and you'd need to be seriously demented to consider looking at it.
Phil
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male
reader, leonard j. Douglas +, writes (9 February 2008):
leonard j. Douglas is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You Thank You:
All of you wonderful Agony Aunts and Uncles for opening my eyes and mind on how you feel about Porn. I have looked at it as a good way to spice up a hoohum sexual relationship,but also am aware that like anything else it too can become addictive within a couples togetherness,were it can and often does interfere with their sexual togetherness.
Thanks again.
Doug.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): I used to have all those usual female hangups about porn, be it magazines or on the internet. With a husband and three adolescent boys, I was forced to address the problem in detail and did a lot of serious research. Result: I no longer find it threatening to my own sexuality, I am no longer "jealous" of those perfect ladies and gents on the screen and I have accepted that men ARE different to women in their need for direct visual stimulation. Although I don't look at porn when I'm alone, I do like to look at the screen shots in my man's "collection" together with him and we usually end up having a lot of fun in bed. I just wish that women were brought up differently so as not to feel so threatened, shocked or insecure about something that will always be around in some form. And I wish men would learn to be a little more sensitive to their ladies. If you KNOW she is going to object, then PLEASE be discreet and do not leave "things" lying around for her to find them. If you want to share, address the issue gently. But also stand up to the truth that what men and women do with their own bodies in their own time is THEIR business and should be respected as such.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): It hurts me.
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female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (8 February 2008):
 I think there is way too much porn available. I am not bothered if my husband looks at it particularly but i get angry when my 12 year old son finds it, soft porn would not be so bad but he has found some really explicit porn and consequently we now have passwords etc on the pc. I just find it totally degrading to women.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 February 2008):
Dr. Vendetta is correct; porn has been around a long time. Aren't there 2000 year old vases with sex scenes on them?
Anyway, you asked us what we think. I think that there will be porn as long as there is people!
What I like about porn: it can be arousing, interesting, entertaining.
What I dislike about porn: it is very often one-sided, generally developed for men. It most often does not take into account women's pleasure, and sets up the expectation that all you have to do is shove a penis into her and she'll have an orgasm on the spot. I think only 1/3 of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone; the rest need some more stimulation. In other words, it's not a good teaching tool for inexperienced men. It does not encourage good communication skills in the bedroom.
It can be intimidating for the average woman to see these perfect porn stars, who don't have bumps on their perfectly shaved pudenda, who don't have slightly saggy breasts, or a bit of extra belly, and watch their men be mesmerized by them. And don't get me started on deep-throating! Don't any of them have a gag reflex? (Teehee.)
Anyway, don't know if that helps you but that's what I think.
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female
reader, red1982 +, writes (8 February 2008):
I have no problem with internet porn - or porn of any kind really. As long as it isn't hurting anyone and the actors are all consenting adults. It does not bother me that my husband watches it and we have watched it together - it just doesn't do a lot for me. I prefer reading books and let my imagination wander.
I would get annoyed though if he preferred watching porn then coming to bed with me, or spent a long time watching it everyday. But as long as it's not an unhealthy fixation then it's fine.
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (8 February 2008):
 personally i'd like to know why this is only limited to the internet.
when porn has been around since the late 1900's. long before the tv.
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