A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all.I don't believe in sex before marriage, or so I think. I'm 17 and never really been in a relationship with anyone so it isn't something that's really bothering me. I've been brought up as a Christian and I agree with no sex before marriage. Not just because of religious reasons but for emotional reasons too. In today's world, it's one of those things that people don't worry about so much. It's acceptable and sex doesn't seem to be such a big deal, so I'm not really sure what to think about it. When the time comes for me, I'm sure I'll know what's right. But what are your opinions on sex before marriage? Whether you're religious or not?Thank you... X x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): I am going on 29, and am saving myself for marriage, too. For religious and personal reasons. I would love to be able to marry a fellow virgin, but I realize the chances of that are slim and that not everyone was raised like I was. I want to do what I think is right, regardless of what everyone else is doing. I'm glad I won't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, or an STD, or being used by someone for sex and getting dumped right after. For me, sex IS a big deal, and I'll be saving it for my wedding night.
A
female
reader, dianamd  +, writes (4 December 2009):
never ever go for sex before marriage .....wait for a correct time and that time is only after marriage ....search a good boy who is sincere with u in relationship and capable of respecting and marrying u ...i wish u ll get the boy who ll respect you and love u loads..and have sex only after marriage.....its hard to get such good guys ..but dear its up to you..my serious advice is never have sex before ur marriage thats it ...
best of luck and my god keep u away from the things which is sin ...remmmember sex before marriage is an adultery and is prohibited religiously wise ..we are human being we have morals and religion ethics..personally who jst goes with sex before marriage are equal to an animal there is no difference between we and animals...nothing more to say ...best wishes .bye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow. Thank you all for replying. I've had some really great feedback so thank you. X x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
You have to do what's right for you. If those are your beliefs, then belive in them. Some guys will understand, others won't. When you find the right guy, he'll understand. Simple as that. But never be forced into doing anything you don't want to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): As a culture, we haven't embraced such loose sexual habits because it's working well. It isn't. We have just gotten this way because it was fun initially and now we can't make ourselves stop.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): not really being into god and what not, my advice is get with the times (no disrespect to your religion). if you and your partner are ready for sexual activity and you trust eachother then go for it, it adds depth to a relationship and more importantly brings pleasure.
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 The problem with premarital sex (even besides the religious aspect, and as a Christian I share your view) is that it hurts you, or at least has the potential to.
Every time you are sexual with someone, you're giving part of your heart to that person. There's a reason people leave spouses for their lovers after affairs. And even if you really love someone, after sex it's that much harder to move on if you break up (which can happen no matter how ideal the relationship seems at the time. And I should know, my fiancée left me last month after what seemed to me to be three blissful years).
Also, it makes it harder to be happy with who you're with. You may be in love with boyfriend Number 4, but thinking about how Number 3 was larger, and Number 2 was better at giving oral, and Number 1 knew just how to touch you. It makes it more difficult to just enjoy the person you DO marry, because the perfect man for you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually might not be the best lover you've had, and that resentment can be poison to a relationship. If you've been with no one else, you can't be disappointed with him because you won't know any different.
Also, there's something to be said for sharing sex as something both of you have saved exclusively for each other, knowing that you lost your virginity at the same time, with each other, and no one else has ever see either of you like that. It's a bond you share, a deeply intimate and personal thing that proves how there's no one else but your spouse that gets this. Premarital sex reduces it from an intimate bond into just some naked pushups (to quote a friend of mine).
I've done sexual things (up through third base) with two previous girlfriends, and I regret it. Already, I am worried whether my next girlfriend will live up to what I grew accustomed to with my last girl. It was fun at the time, but to be honest caused more of our arguments than anything else in the relationship.
If you do give it up, know that God still loves you. But if you can save it, you're saving yourself some considerable drama, and possibly a deal of pain, at the cost of giving up some fun in the meanwhile.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): You need to think long and hard about this. One huge advantage about having sex while you're dating is that you get to see how talented (or messed up) your lover is. Do they perform? are they giving? are they rude? Finding out that your husband can't go 60 seconds on your wedding night, or that he thinks licking you is GROSS, is not worth it IMO.
You might want to check out the "sex is fun" podcast, as they have one to two shows on this topic... search Itunes...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Sex should have its boundary set by Love, not Lust or romantic notions but Love within a relationship of mutual trust sharing and commitment...
Otherwise it is just sex where the people are in it to get a thrill a couple of hours of heat sweat and pressure and exchange bodily fluids.
Now we can argue about whether that Love and commitment is only trully cemented in marriage or whether living together shows that depth of commitment I happen to believe that marriage is appropriate.
Overall though My view on sex is that it should not be confused with intimacy and or love those are two entirely different things and in that respect noone should be blackmailed into sex ie the old chestnuts You don't love me... you don't care or you're not being fair or out of fear of losing a BF/GF because that isn't love
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 September 2009):
 It's entirely personal and up to you. In my life, it has been personally okay with me since the 1960s, but of course, I did not marry most girlfriends.
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