A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering what your thoughts are for situations like these. A lot of people cannot leave relationships immediately for various reasons...kids,illness, compromises...I am wondering if you guys have ever needed to pretend everything is fine in a relationship?Even if it's damaged forever.Also, how can you pretend that everything is fine while you can leave? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): You are putting time and emotion into living a fake life that cannot keep afloat for long, as eventually the strain will take it's toll. It's detrimental to both you and your partner's emotional and mental health to continue living this lie, and if you have children, this Is guna put a big strain on them, cos you will end up depressed.
Remember that expression " nothing worth doing is ever easy", yes splitting with him will feel like tearing yourself apart, but it's the right thing to do. Better to end it sooner rather than later.
Good luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): yep, been there done that. it is mentally and emotionally and even physically exhausting to be pretending that things are fine when they aren't, day after day after day. If you do it over a long period of time, you will get depressed because deep down inside you know you're being a fake, and most people feel very disturbed at being a fake. They feel and know that they are living a lie and it contributes to despair and a sense of spinning your wheels going no where in life.it's probably best to not do it. if you must, plan out exactly how long you need to keep pretending. How much longer do you intend to stay in this broken relationship? Put a firm number on it - 1 year? 5 years? Don't make it contingent on something happening such as "until I make enough money to afford my own apartment" . when will that be? some times, not knowing how long, makes it feel even worse and then you end up having no energy to ever leave so you keep yourself stuck.It's also better to not pretend and be a fake even if you are not going to leave yet. If there is a clear reason why you aren't leaving - e.g. kids, illness, - at least make it clear to your partner that you do want to leave BUT because of this circumstance you are not leaving even though you want to. Then you and your partner can work out the terms of this relationship from now on, e.g. maybe sleeping in separate rooms, to more accurately reflect the true nature of the relationship even if you are still living in the same house. That way you are not LYING and MISLEADING the other person.
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