A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello all. This is quite a simple one really. I guess essentially what I'm asking for your advice on is how to ask a girl out!At the gym I go to, I regularly see this girl who I am very attracted too. My confidence isn't particularly good so I guess I'm just asking what you guys think is the best way to attempt to ask this girl out? Thanks!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2015): Thanks again for the replies. I think its just bad experiences in the past that have made me like this. I've only asked one girl out and she said she was seeing someone else so forgive me for not having much confidence with it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 June 2015):
Too much thinking. Not enough simply doing.
Just talk to her. Don't try to think about what she's thinking about what you might be thinking about. (My brain hurts just thinking about you worrying about what she's thinking about you simply talking to her.)
Go up and say hi. It's just "hi." It's not "I want to marry you and give you babies." It's not "Omg you must be judging me before I even walk up to you and I'll bet you have a handsome man waiting in the wings who will swoop you up simply because I cam up and said 'hi.'"
Go up and say hi. It's just "hi." The subtext is "I just want to get to know you a bit, you seem like an interesting person."
That's it.
Just say "hi."
Do it today, then the next day then for a week and by the end of 2 weeks you'll have enough "hi's" as a history that you can say the next thing. Which might be "Fancy getting a coffee?" or "I'm working out because I'm going to run a 5K for charity next month. Are you a runner? You seem fit and I'm trying to get myself ready for this run. I could use some advice" or "Would you happen to know any great dog-walkers/drycleaners/chinese food restaurants/whatever the hell you might need?"
Smile.
Relax.
It's just "hi."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2015): Thanks for the replies!
I was thinking of talking to get first before asking her out but I just couldn't see an opportunity to do it. I can't help but feel she or any girl would know the true purpose of me talking to her unless there was an opportunity that presented itself that really could be classed as innocent. With this in mind I get nervous about thinking that she will be knowing why I'm chatting to her even if I'm not asking her our initially.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 June 2015):
I agree with Notsohappy.
If you two end up being done with work out about the same time, ask her out for a coffee - if she seems interested,ask her out on a date.
MANY women are not comfortable with a stranger asking them out, right off the bat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2015): If you are complete strangers, smile to her, if she smiles back,say hello to her, if she hellos back, strike a short conversation with her like commenting on the weather or the crowding on the bus or the train, if she responds back, next time make the conversation a little longer and ask her for a date. Of-course you don't do that all in one go but over a period of time.
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