A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months, and the other night I made it clear to him that I want to give my virginity to him, no doubt about it. He is a virgin too, so I'm nervous for what we are supposed to do. I mean both him and I are experienced with other sexual things, but, what exactly am I supposed to do when we have it. Should I be on top, should we keep kissing do I put the condom on, etcc! helpppp.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Enjoy the hugging, kissing and cuddling; leave the sex for later; you will both know when the time is right; do not rush into sex; specially not a first time; for a first time, you will need LOTS of time;lots of planning and preparation; you need to discuss this and avoid having unprotected sex, oh and take care of things such as birht controll;
I SUGGEST:
Patience, patience, patience; be comfortable with each other; relax, enjoy the relationship;
DON'T just focus on wanting to have sex!
A thin membrane, the hymen guards the entrance of the vagina,(it allows the escape of mentstrual fluid); the thickness and stifness varies from woman to woman; often it is ruptured by activities such as gymnastics, horseriding, cycling or even the use of tampons. However, even if in tact, it is rarely painfull during first penetration or "fingering" as you mentioned.
I do suggest you take it easy, have a lubricant handy. Discuss this with your boyfriend,have him prepared not to be overkeen and in a hurry.. no rush, the secret is to "go Slow"....if it hurts stop and try again...
I want to urge you to ensure that when you do decide to do this, make it special;
The first time is something you will always remember; make sure it is special and you are doing it with love as the driving force and not lust or curiousity.
It will help if you the right setting and complete privacy, with no fear of interruptions.
Allow yourselves plenty of time so that your lovemaking can proceed unhurried.With the first time this is very important, as there is a lot of nervousness; make sure your partner is not in a hurry either.
Make sure you a reliable form of contraception. Bear in mind that AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases can be cought or spread the first time intercourse takes place. I suggest the man should wear a condom.
Your partner must know you are a virgin and be very gentle.
He should make sure you are aroused, by caressing, stimulating you before penetration.
Have a lubricant available if needed.
Choose a man on top position; penetration should be gentle and he should not thrust to deep at first.
Try to RELAX!
Best wishes and lots of smiles.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Repeat questions. Please note:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-are-we-supposed-to-do.html
However, I will answer one not both.
Please ensure that you are ready to have sexual intercourse. Do prepare properly and make sure it is going to be something you will look back at with good memories and not regret later in your life.
Safe sex is very important due to the risk of pregnancy, venereal disease and AIDS. CONDOMS is a must, even for oral sex.
Only do this when you are feeling comfortable. Don't let anyone force you or convince you that for the sake of love, you have to.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): There is no set way, it's all by mutual agreement in fact that's what it's all about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): do what you both feel is right. talk through it properly and o what comes naturally to your mind/body. good luck girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Just start kissing and stuff and it will lead to it. Let him be on top if he wants to and let him put the condom on. Make sure he puts it on right! He can take control or you, it's your decision. Just relax and let things flow. good luck.
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