A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So here is my story. I have been seeing this guy for approx 2 months. We had a brief romantic thing about 6 months ago but I was still living in another state at the time and only visiting home for a bit an he was leaving to live elsewhere for a while. We kept in contact thru all that time. Now I am moved home and We spend time together approx 3 to 5 times a week, talk everyday via text message, and sometimes phone calls. I really like the pace of our "relationship" I have a few questions though about what to think about what's going on1) we used to "see each other" many years ago, he was a "booty call" type situation when I was younger (about 5 years ago) and we have kept in contact on and off through the years only as friends. I had a long term relationship between then and now. Will this jeopardize what we have now, our past together ? It feels like something new now though because we are older and at different places in our lives...2) naturally, because of what I said in number 1, sex has always been a part of our "relationship" so it didn't take long for us to begin having sex again. Am I just restarting the system we had in the past? I can name many things that are different, for example, we go out places which we never used to do, we have "dates" which we never used to have, he has bought me gifts / is planning trips up to 3 months in advance for us (one for my birthday) which never would hve happened way back when. i have met his friends (he never beought me anywhere way back when so i never met em) etc etc etc. Are these signs of something more serious or am I just looking for things?3) he has a job where he works very strange hours. He works usually until very late at night (it's only temporary but it still sucks) like by late I mean Til 10 or sometimes even midnight depending on the day. (I know for a fact this is true so do t suggest he is making it up) I jokingly said one night when we were out at a bar after he got off work that I am like his "lady of the night" and he laughed. It is hard to not feel like a booty call with his hours even though I'm pretty sure I'm not since we will plan what days we hang out early in the week an everything. What do you think?4) and finally I am just all confused on what it is we are even doing in general. Are we dating? Seein each other? Idk what it even is. I like him a lot and feel as though it could be a good thing, but I am having a hard time. Esp since I don't know if we are exclusive or what (although I dont know how he would have any time for anyone else in his life, and we talk about what we are doing, and he is always sure to tell me if he is going out who it is with because he expects the same from me)All in all I do admit I am happy with where we are right now regardless of the confusion and splitting of the hairs. I feel as though it is healthy and I can see us becoming more comfortable with each other each time we hang out. Tender moments are slowly but surely happening more and more. But how can I ease those little worries, should I wait longer to say something? Should I even say anything at all or just stick to the whole "If it ain't broke why fix it" mentality? I am not in a hurry to slap a label on it, I think it's the exclusivity part that's bugging me out. I just want to stop googling "signs he is serious" and know that it is at least headed in a positive way.... Ahhhhhh!!
View related questions:
booty call, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, nonan  +, writes (5 August 2012):
It sounds as if you had fun together in the past but now you want something more and are worried that he is still just expecting the same meaningless fun.Don't fret!You wouldn't be spending so much non-sexual time together, communicating so much and he wouldn't be planning stuff so seriously if sex was all he was after.Meeting his friends is a good sign but don't read too much into that.2 months in, you should be getting closer. If it's really eating at you, bring it up. Tell him you're worried about how much, or how little this relationship means to him. But personally, I wouldn't bother. Who knows what the future will bring, but it sounds as if he's serious about you for now and is probably growing to love you more and more. Relax. :-)
|
