A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Having trouble figuring out what a guys intentions are here.. But I don't want to ask him just yet. We met 4.5 years ago, on a weekend away. An hours flight away in another country. He hung out with us for the weekend after meeting him in a bar there. On my return back home, we kept in touch, but about 3 months after I got into a relationship with another guy. We remained friends, but cut out the flirting. We would talk about anything and everything, I'd be giving him advice on his conquests etc. Then 3/4 years later I was single again. And the flirting stepped back up. However I went away for 6 months travelling, we kept up constant emails all the way.When I got back, he was going on a few trips himself, stopped off here, and we spent a long weekend together, we kissed on the 2nd night, and slept together on the 3rd day, and he went home on the 4th. We had both obviously enjoyed the time we spent together a lot.I had an event to go to and invited him, so he flew back over for the weekend. Wearing his best suit :) He had suggested I go visit there, and I did, another amazing weekend.3 times, great fun, and lots of chemistry. However after the 3rd time, he has contacted me everyday since, whether its emails, texts, videochats. So a lot more than previously. And he initiated most of the first week, so I started to initiate some emails back after he did so many. but we havent arranged a meet up again. We havent really even discussed where we stand. Although our friendship has changed in the way we talk, we don't talk about dating etc to eachother etc etc.. I just can't figure out, if he is just liking the flirting and enjoying female company, albeit flying backwards and forwards for it is a bit of an effort.. or if he does have feelings for me?? I'd say if he did have feelings, he would have spoke up by now?? its been 3/4 months of this camaraderie now. But im not someone who would carry on like this with a guy, im either with someone or im not, im not into open relationships. And am quite happy being single. If he knows me well enough he should know that.. but emailing everyday, is an encouragement right?? Im just not into the small talk if its not leading to anything..??I would consider taking this further, albeit, its a long distance thing.. but i'd happily give it a go, with possible future life changes etc. But I don't want to speak up, i'd prefer him to bring it up - he said the last time i saw him in convo 'if a man wants to be with a girl, he'd say so and make it exclusive' so hes not stupid in that sense.. any thoughts??? or i need to clarify anything??
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your reading my post!
We have had a small amount of progress, he said he wanted to come and visit, so i said of course of course. (no emotions at all mentioned - apart from a little 'miss u' from him! We briefly agreed on a weekend, and he is planning to book it up. He has been away, but I think before he books it up, I might actually bite the bullet and speak with him before he does book.... yikes...
A
female
reader, SueZ  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Well, I have to say being the first to admit you want to take it to the next level is bloody terrifying- but I think you are forgetting how insecure we all feel when we are at that point if you think he knows you well enough to know you're "either with someone or not".
I think the time is right to talk about it with him.
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