A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are tell tale signs that a girl is or has cheating on you? And is there a crafty way of making her confess? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): My married girlfriend has managed to conceal her activities for about four years now, so don't assume that it's some herculean task trying to conceal an affair. Her husband does complain about their sexless marriage, but she just blames it on work stress and having "grown apart" over the years. Cheating is very easy to get away with.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 Not proud of them but I'll tell you what I did when I cheated:
-Took on extra shifts at work, logged in more school hours. Mainly trying to avoid him every chance I got.
-Going out with friends and not inviting your other half to go out.
-Change of dress. I started dressing a bit sluttier than usual when going out.
-Putting a passcode on your phone, or never letting it out of your sight.
-Every time you're together it's brief and forced affection. Or there's arguments.
-Change in sex, or nonexistent sex life.
There's really no crafty way to get a cheater to confess, they've upheld the lie for so long they're going to cover their arse to the very end. I mean unless you hounded her to death, you're going to need some hard, physical evidence she's cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Yeah OP it's very obvious.
Being suddenly very secretive about everything. Not leaving her phone down even for a second and being protective of it and her laptop, and getting overly annoyed if you go near them. She may smile at a message she received and when asked may tell you to mind your own business.
Sudden change in social pattern. She may start being unusually "busy" all of a sudden. Blowing you off to go out with "friends" at weird hours, being cagey about discussing what she did at those times, such as saying they didn't do much and she has nothing interesting to tell. I literally have never had a girlfriend that didn't want to describe to me in detail almost every conversation and bit of news they've had from their gatherings with friends.
Friends are exceptionally bad at keeping this kind of thing quiet, usually their stories may not match from times she said she was with them. Sometimes they can act surprized when you mention them meeting as she hadn't told them of her excuse to you. Their attitude towards you very often subtly changes, you may notice a slight hint of pity or they may start acting standoffish as they distance themselves from being caught in the middle or being close to a person who soon will be their friends ex.
The biggest two signs of all though OP are:
1. She starts accusing you of cheating, she starts noticeably invading your privacy more to see if you're cheating on her. You see it's something most cheaters can't help, by cheating they know how easy it is and they start to become paranoid that you're doing it to them. There's actually a psychological term for that projection of deference or something like that I can't remember.
2. The second is she becomes unusually defensive when asked about menial things. This is another key sign. It's an automatic response and something most people can't help. You may ask something as simple as how was your time at the club with your friends last night and she may accuse you of checking up on her or lacking trust in her. You will hear "don't you trust me" a lot even when you ask her something meaningless.
You know the easiest way to catch someone out for cheating is to just ask them. The vast majority of people are very bad liars. Even great liars have very obvious "tells" you should research those online they're very easy to remember and spot. Bad liars will very often try to deflect the question by not answering directly and pretending to be offended that you don't trust them. Most people if asked that and they're not cheating find it very easy to say "no, of course not, why do you ask?" Anything other than a definitive no is a reason to be suspicious.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Hiding her phone from you, not leaving it when she moves around the home. Ask if you can use her phone and see her reaction.
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A
female
reader, Anongrace  +, writes (6 April 2012):
Speaking from my pov, there are no tell tail signs. If she does not want to be caught, chances are she never will be. I know I won't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Well, seeing it from a Girl's point of view here (mine), the signs can be obvious.
The following could mean she is cheating:
• Staying away from you
• Noticing she is hanging out with other guys
• Not texting or calling you up
These signs could also mean that she's really busy, so don't assume it at first. If she acting suspicious, than yes.
I have had many friends that manipulate and cheat on guys, and it's sad to see them do that! I would definatly not like my boyfriend to cheat on me.
Hope this helps and best of luck!
-L :-)
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