A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I've found myself in a difficult situation with a guy I like. We work together and have been good friends since I started there about 3 months ago. We had flirted a lot but never let that come in the way at work. One night we ended up sleeping together after a staff night out! Nothing much happened then but the flirting became more often he text me all the time and asked to hang out more. We had another staff night out and he told me he liked me as a girl was out that he had been with previously to me was out and was flirting with him loads as I didn't know what was happening I asked him straight out because I was drunk if it was just sex with me or if he wanted to see if it could go anywhere.He told me he didn't want her, he only wanted me and that we got on well. We ended up sleeping together again the next day we hung out the whole day. Just chatting being giggly flirty ect.We have been sleeping together awhile he's told me he likes me but hasn't made it exclusive. People who have known him longer than me tell me he must like me as they have never seen him this way over a girl.I just need to know if he just want sex it certainly feels that way to me we have hung out and nothing has happened just a little kiss and he's never forced more. But I don't want to be Hurt like I said I don't mind if it is casual sex I just want to know are the signs there that this is just casual. We work together I don't want it to get awkward
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (30 August 2013):
This is easy: a guy's words are meaningless if his actions don't match.
Stop sleeping with him for a little bit and see how long he sticks around. Go on a real date with him and at the end of the night give him a kiss and when he implies he wants more tell him that he'll have to wait so he has something to look forward to.
If you just want sex continue doing what you're doing.
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (30 August 2013):
 I've been in a very similar situation and I ended up getting very, very hurt. I think you know you have feelings for him, while he sounds like he's having a great time being single but getting sex from you with no obligations. If he wanted to be with you, he would have jumped at the chance to have that talk with you when you asked him about the other girl.
If casual sex is not enough for you, and he won't give you a relationship, then you need to get out of this as soon as you can.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): It's simple OP, right now it's just casual isn't it? Right now if I asked you to define what's going on between you and he at this very moment without any thought for where it might be going, you'd tell me you're just seeing each other and that it's casual, am I right?
So there you go. This is just a casual thing. It's only going to be a casual thing until you have the talk with him.
You say he hasn't made it exclusive, well why haven't you if that's what you want? Or did he refuse that or something?
You see it looks to me like you're trying to be sure it's what he wants in case you push him away by asking about it or ruin your chances but the simple fact is that'll only happen if he truly doesn't see you ever being a prospect for something more exclusive, so there is no way of losing out by having the talk.
"But I don't want to be Hurt like I said I don't mind if it is casual sex." That's very contradictory don't you think? You wouldn't be worried about being hurt if you're were capable of just having casual sex with him and no, defining it as casual sex is not going to stop you gaining strong feelings for him.
OP stop being a pussy and just ask him all this. It's time to have the talk, "where are we going with this?"
Oh and friends saying they've never seen him like this over a girl means nothing at all, and the fact you're getting your hopes up about it means you're already emotionally invested. I mean it could be that the others they've seen him date just demanded exclusivity sooner and he said no, maybe he hasn't dated much before you, maybe the other girls weren't as passive and scared as you. It's not the good sign of you being somehow different and great as you think it might be.
Just have the talk and be done with it, find out where you stand, what the prospects are her and make your decision accordingly. If he turns around says he's not sure yet, then be very careful because if you really like him like you seem to then it won't take long until you start to feel used and the longer you leave it the worse it'll be if he really is just stringing you along. Go by your timeframe OP, not his, do what you want and get what you want and pay no attention to trying to read him or look for signs.
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