A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a male acquaintance from home, I've never really known him very well but as we both go to the same riding club I see him quite often and am good friends with a lot of his good friends. It's a big riding club with many people from my old school, and I've been there for quite a few years so they make up a large part of my social circle.I used to really fancy him, and he'd be quite flirtatious back, though often "hot and cold." Like, one minute, he'd be winking at me and saying stuff and even just constantly watching me to the point it got embarrassing, next he'd be talking loudly in my earshot about all the girls he'd slept with or getting touchy feely with one of my friends. However, last summer before we all went back to uni I told him I liked him anyway, and he said he had a girlfriend at uni so of course I didn't try to take it any further.I didn't see him for ages after that, but now I've been seeing him a lot again around recently at parties and such. I got over him completely, but now he's always smiling at me and watching me and coming up to whichever group of friends I'm in at a party. I haven't spoken to him once apart from saying hi, and would rather just ignore him; maybe he's just being friendly but I feel like he is a bit of a player and he never seemed to care all that much for me. Also, he (and most of my other friends who know him) have graduated as have I, so we'll all be at home for a while and I still have to see him Am I being childish here, or is this an OK thing to do?Why can't he just leave me alone too? I hate it when he stares at me. Even if he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore (I don't know if he does or not) I find it a bit rude when done to the extent he does it. I try to just pretend he's not there but I can always see him watching me out of the corner of my eye.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 August 2013):
 I think if avoiding him or ignoring him WORKS for you then go for it, I just wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): Yes it is childish.
I have experienced that with guys i rejected, after saying i cant be more than friends with them, most of them avoided me for life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): Sounds to me like you're not as over him as you think or say or none of that would bother you.
OP it's only childish if you feel it is or if you were doing it to hurt him. I don't think it is at all. I do that, it's the smart thing to do when you're trying to protect your feelings and when people say that's childish they just try to demean your feelings so screw that.
You don't want to risk a drunken mistake or your feelings reigniting so you detest any attention he gives you as a means of self-protection. Is that what you consider childish? I consider that intelligent.
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